Evolution of a Mancombining the profound and the inane.

ahhh BLURG!!

will on April 26th, 2008

woke up this morning with a head cold. i’m sneezing, my head off.

the plus: i can get some work done while watching a “real housewives of new york” marathon.

the con: i can’t breathe.

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because i’m worth it!

will on April 21st, 2008

i’m learning a lot about myself this week!

i went up to albany, ny this weekend to meet up with a friend of mine who i was trying to get to know a little bit more. we really hit it off when we first met, but unfortunately, he lives upstate, and is only available to hang out on the weekends. this weekend, needing a bit of a break from the city, i decided to head up to albany and see what’s good…

as we all know, i’ve never had a boyfriend before. and i’ve only really “dated” 2 people, and for no more than a week or so. when i meet people i’m interested in dating, i’m usually very giving of myself. at some point in my life i decided that i needed to work to be loved and give everything of myself to hold the attention and attraction of others. but this newfound freedom has given me an unexpected new swagger and confidence when it comes to life, and in particular- dating.

from pretty much the moment i got off the bus albany was damn near all over me. just compliment after compliment about how he was so glad to see me, etc. it kinda freaked me out because i don’t get complimented often. i’ve never thought of myself as sexy, or hot, and when i hear someone say those things to me, it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. it’s prolly because i don’t believe it, myself! gotta work on that…

anyway, as the night went on, i met some of his friends, had some drinks and just enjoyed the evening- still in my euphoric state of freedom. as albany was really putting on the moves, something in me seemed to wake up. it was like a light bulb went off in my head- a shiny ass sign that glowed, “you’re a star! you’re worth it! act like it!” immediately, my whole attitude towards dating, romance and men drastically changed. i am a man to take care of… work for me!

i imposed a 1-month sex rule (which of course threw a wrench in his plans), but i thought of what a great weekend for ME would be like, and then, i created it. we cuddled and watched a movie, made out like bandits, fooled around a bit, and fell asleep. the next morning there was more making out and fooling around, along with breakfast and another movie. i had a great fucking weekend!

he still pressed me to have sex with him, but i stuck to my guard- and shall stick to it with every guy i meet from here on. if a guy wants to be with me, he’ll have to prove it. why? because i’m fucking worth it!

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the unicorns strike again!

will on April 20th, 2008

first there was “planet unicorn” and now something even gayer and more hilarious has arrived:

hilarity, indeed!

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mr hubcap

will on April 19th, 2008

i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it a million times more… i love living in new york city! something about this city both fits and speaks to me on almost every level of my being. there’s just so much entertainment all over the city- you just have to pay attention.

yesterday, while having a conversation with mentor-deluxe on the streets of chelsea, we were approached by some random guy selling watches. he had a box full of them- gold, silver and black dirty-ass watches. he hit up m.d. on some “yo, i’m just trying to make some money” ish- which, in some areas, is a standard for walking around the streets of manhattan; but there was something a little off about this particular entrepreneur. he never quite looked either of us in the eye and, almost like a crackhead, seemed to be willing to do damn near anything for a piece of our wallets.

mentor-deluxe engaged him in conversation for a little while. i just leaned against a near-by fence and, facing the other direction, laughed my ass off at the hilarity of the conversation going on behind me. when i turned around, the guy had walked a few feet away and was now leaning on a cadillac escalade parked at the curb. my friend and i looked at each other like, “ummm… you know that’s not your car, right?” we continued our conversation, and before we could even get a sentence out, we heard what sounded like a pop. when i turned around, i only had one thing to say… “there’s a piece of that car missing!”

sure enough, this man, here-to-fore to be known as mr. hubcap, jumped up, smiled and nodded (hubcap in hand), and proceeded to glide on over to the back tire for payday #2. I. WAS. DONE! i know the expression on my face had to be priceless because all that kept going through my head was “that did NOT just happen!” mentor-deluxe confirmed that it in fact, did happen, and that as it did, we should now take our cue and leave the area.

we bounced from the scene- laughing our asses off- leaving mr. hubcap to collect the remaining 2 pieces of car that he would probably no doubt sell before the end of the day.

i know i lost a good 400 calories from laughing so hard!

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on divine intervention…

will on April 18th, 2008

so everyone knows that i’ve got plans for 2008. i’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again- 2008 is my breakout and breakthrough year! it’s the year that i’ve been waiting for. i’ve had this feeling that my life is going to take off sometime in the beginning of the year. i’ve been working on a bunch of stuff outside of my job at google, and have been really looking forward to creating and building a business, getting out and living my dreams. if all of this growth and work i’ve been doing has shown me anything, it’s that i’m in the wrong career. i don’t belong behind a desk. i have aspirations to be a media mogul and want to build a company and legacy of my own as opposed to help build someone else’s empire.

things have so far been okay, but nowhere near as productive as i would like. i just feel like i never have the time to do any of the stuff that i really want to do. my complaint has been that since i spend so much time on the plantation, after work i don’t have much time or energy at all tow work on personal assignments. for weeks [read: way longer than that], i’ve been contemplating leaving my place of employment. after 4 and a half years, i’ve come to the point where, frankly, i’ve gotten from them all that i can, and they’ve gotten from me all that they can. i was just waiting for the things i have going on personally to line up so that i could make my move.

last night while praying, i asked god for a jump-start. a little push! i just felt so stuck- so caged in because i didn’t know what to do. do you remember that scene in the “harry potter” movie, where harry had to fly around and catch one of like a bazillion keys in order to get to the next level? that’s what my life has been like for the past 4 months! i have been going through each day with ideas floating all around me, and have not been able to concentrate hard and long enough on one to actually latch onto it. i prayed hard for some guidance, and today, i got it- although not in the form that i expected.

this morning, i woke up and went into the office for yet another long day at work; but, unbeknownst to me, today was going to move a lot faster than i originally anticipated. in short, today google gave me my walking papers. indeed, this does seem a bit jarring at first, but trust me- i’m fine! so fine in fact, that upon hearing the news, all i had to say was, “okay.” i immediately sighed, “i’m free… time to get to work!” that was seriously the first thing that popped into my head. i sped the meeting with my boss and hr along- giving no real indication about how i actually felt about their decision- with my 1 or 2-word responses; and as soon as i was given my papers and instructions, i left the office- oddly enough, just as happy and as excited as when i was first hired four and a half years ago.

it dawned on me as i said my goodbyes to everyone and took care of some last business, that the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. just last night i was praying for a little push, and here it was. there were no tears on my part (although there were some who cried when hearing that i was not coming back- that made me feel special), and really, there are no hard feelings because (1) i’ve got work to do, and (2) now, i get to live my own life!

i bounced from work for the last time and took a nice, enjoyable walk around the city- basking in the beautiful spring day. i was ecstatic because i’d often look out of the window during the day and dream and wonder about the lives of the people who were out during the day as opposed to being stuck in an office. i was finally one of them!

feeling good, i wanted to look good as well, so i headed up to washington heights to get my weekly haircut. by the time i got out, the sun was shining even brighter, and my day got even better. aunt vicki vale called, inviting me out to catch up over a serious 2-for-1 happy hour at gym bar in chelsea. now, let me give it up to ms. vale yet again… if there is anyone who can show a brotha and help him see his worth, it’s ms. vale! i become fully aware of how amazing (no conceit), talented and worthy i am every time i’m around him. you can’t help but to… motivation and confidence just oozes out of him. anyway, we filled each other in on our weeks over cocktails. i told him about my getting fired, to which he was incredibly happy to hear (funny… no one said, “i’m sorry” to me today. just, “congratulations!”). as we talked, idea after idea floated around us, and all of a sudden, the idea of the century just fell right into my hand. no way i’m divulging it here, but it’s big! and it’s about to catapult me right into my career breakthrough for 2008!

i can’t wait to get to work. i’ve got a fire lit under my ass so huge i could burn this whole mutha down! and i’ve got divine intervention, ms. vicki vale, and google (who knew) to thank.

all i have to say is, thanx guys… you’ve set me free; and it’s very much appreciated! to everyone else: keep your eyes open, ‘cuz here i come!

i don’t know where i’m going, and i don’t know what’s next, but i’m playing this legacy game full out- and that’s what counts. i am now in control of my own life, and it is one of the best feelings i’ve ever had! i can’t wait to see what i build and create in the future; and do hope that you continue to come along for the ride. i have learned many lessons thus far, and cannot wait to continue on this remarkable journey that is the evolution of a man!

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good job, jesus!

will on April 17th, 2008

ok, i know you’re all about to mob together in an effort to beat some sense into me for this one, but i’ve just gotta get this out. this boy’s been all up in my face lately- on the blogs, tv, and radio- and as spring has finally sprung here in new york, my little hot pocket flutters with delight at all of the nekkidness that is beginning to resurface.

such bounty of naked skin includes the ever-so “look at me, dammit!”:

ray j

i know, i know! it’s like “wtf’ but just let me have this one, lol. although i wouldn’t actually ever go there, cuz… ewww, there’s just something about this boy that’s just so fucking sexy to me. maybe it’s because he walks, talks, and oozes “i’ll fuck the shit out of you!” intellectually, i’m cursing myself out for thinking such things, but every time he starts to lick those lips, pull up his shirt and tries to drop his c-list swagger, my hot pocket and i just salivate with horniness.

the world is still waiting patiently to see what is purpose is, but for now i’m counting my blessings [read: enjoying his nakedness] and taking the time to salute and rise for “brandy’s little brother” with a hearty:

good job, jesus!

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on the only time i’ve ever wanted to be a cop…

will on April 16th, 2008

there would have been no apologies from me. my response would probably have been something to the effect of “uhh, yah… i’m gonna have to take a closer look at that, sir.”

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no ma’am!

will on April 15th, 2008

nsfw.

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on a lesson in privacy…

will on April 13th, 2008

i’ve always been a pretty open person. usually one to wear my heart on my sleeve, i’ve never shied away from sharing my life with others. perhaps it’s out of being naive and/or too trusting, or perhaps it’s simply due to the fact that i like attention. either way, it’s time to bring it down a notch. it’s time for some privacy.

someone a long time ago once told me, “no one can rain on your parade if they don’t know what street it’s coming down.” i seem to have forgotten that sage piece of advice over the years. i’ve been sharing personal relationship and business information with someone recently who is a close friend. however, in the past week, he has used that information against me in order to make himself look good. i feel a bit betrayed, but mostly angry at myself for putting my business out in the street- calling for someone to take advantage of me. it’s incredibly funny to me how people will take what they think they know about you and your life and use it for their benefit

this totally shouldn’t surprise me as i sit here writing this post while watching an episode of tmz; but it does. interesting what happens when things hit close to home. but i’ve always been this way- really nice (some say too nice), and a bit too trusting for my own good. the problem is that i don’t really know how to be anyone else. it sounds weird, but it’s the truth. that’s just what comes natural.

i’m really hoping that the saying, “nice guys finish last” is just a myth, but in case it isn’t, as it relates to my privacy, i’ve decided to take a cue from my girl, bey, and keep my moves on lock! she continuously stays tight-lipped about the goings on in her life, business and relationships, and for that reason, she is so much more successful. it’s time for me to take a page from the same book.

this one’s gonna be incredibly hard, but if i intend on fulfilling any of the plans that i have for myself and my future, i’m gonna have to start sharing less of my business and keeping more to myself. so if you start to think to yourself, “why is will all quiet and private now?” it’s because i don’t want anybody raining on my parade!

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on an intense feeling…

will on April 12th, 2008

i find myself, once again, home alone at 5:30 in the morning drunk off my ass, lips wrapped around a cigar desperately wishing it was actually a nice hard… right! i’m sorry for being so blunt, but i’m just sayin’!

a bitch is real horny right about now! damn, i want a boyfriend, lol.

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