the universe is really shifting right now! or maybe i’m just finally getting to work. in the last week, my life and productivity level has increased dramatically, and it’s showing no signs of slowing down.
for starters, i’ve finished writing and editing my book. i’ve also created a media kit for it (which will soon be available here on the site). i’ve spent the last few days sending the kit out to my various media contacts in writing, blogging and publishing with the hopes that i’ll a) develop a network of supporters, and b) find publishing, lol.
on sunday, my friend lynda and i hit up the nightmare haunted house in the east village; and continued with mojitos at paladar afterwards. loose-lipped, and needing to talk to someone, i vomited a diatribe ranging in topics from smokestack’s inconsideration to personal apprehensions i have about my future. sometimes in life, we need someone to slap some sense into us. my friend did just that.
lynda wouldn’t even entertain talk of me not believing in myself- stating that i’ve accomplished far too much, and that too many people find me awesome and interesting for me to think such things about myself. in regards to the smokestack situation, she offered that we all have many levels of friends- some you call and see frequently; and others you see on occasion. she suggested the latter for my friendship with him. her advice was to go out and meet people who can give me the same things that i can give them… friendship on a balanced level as opposed to one that eventually ends up being one-sided. i thought out loud about where one should go to meet other intelligent, black, gay men in the city- to which she subtly protested.
“it’s not about meeting ‘gay’ people,” she said. “it’s about meeting people!” that hit me pretty hard. i mean i get so easily caught up in feeling like gay people are the only people i have something in common with. that is entirely untrue. i’ve had friends of all backgrounds before, but i suppose i’ve spent so much time concentrating on my sexuality, that i’ve enclosed myself in a bubble. it’s time for that bubble to burst. lynda mentioned that i check out meetup.com- a social networking site geared towards joining people with similar interests.
i’ve heard of meetup before- i used to write ads for them when i worked at google- but i never really checked it out. meetup is the shit, y’all. i just entered things that i’m interested in- “bowling,” “music,” “writing,” etc. and all types of groups just popped up on screen. i read through and joined a few of them. i have no doubt that this will change everything!
for example, i had a meetup meeting today about the law of attraction as it relates to relationships! talk about attracting things to you! only 2 days ago, i vented my frustrations about my relationships with people, and the universe answered me right back. i got so much out of the meeting just from hearing people talk. there were a couple of things that really stood out for me. someone during the hour-long conversation mentioned: “don’t project your negative mirror onto other people.” bringing it home… “don’t blame smokestack for his inconsideration, when you’re consideration track record is less than laudable.” this doesn’t excuse his behavior in any way, but it highlights my behavior in other relationships that is now being mirrored in my friendship with smokestack.
the other thing that stood out for me today was when someone else said, “change your mind about giving people what you think they need!” could that possibly apply more to my relationship not only with smokestack, but with people in general? i’m a very giving person… a “yes-man” if you will. i’m always there to give people what i think they may need or want, so that they may be happy- all the while sacrificing my own happiness. hearing that woke me up. i’m definitely thinking clearer now; and am now more aware of my own behavior.
needless to say, i enjoyed my first meetup experience. i also found a black writers group, and was very excited to see that they are having a meetup this thursday at the 40/40 club (to which i’ve never been). i’m incredibly excited about this one! this is my chance to really get my foot in the door in the writing and publishing world. i got a book that needs peddling, and what better way to get exposure than this? so, i’m ordering more business cards, printing out “evolution of a man” media kits, and taking this show on the road.
we all know how late i can be when it comes to seeing movies. i love going to the movies, but up until recently i rarely went to the theater on a regular basis. so, i’ve missed a lot of movies.
one movie in particular was “the notebook,” starring ryan gosling and rachel mcadams. it arrived via netflix a good 2 weeks ago, but for some reason, i’ve been avoiding watching it. i roughly knew what it was about, but somthing in me just wasn’t open to a love story. i feel like i’ve been both unlucky and not present in love, and really didn’t want to depress myself any further about the situation. but the movie kept staring me in the face daring and begging me to watch. today, i gave in.
i really, really needed to see this love story, y’all! despite being a hopeless romantic, my own failures in finding love are beginning to make me a little bitter. but “the notebook” snapped me right out of it. it tells a really amazing story of an unbreakable love between a smart and beautiful girl from wealth a wealty family, and a strapping, flavorful young man who just happens to be of a different class. the way in which the story is told keeps you on the edge of your seat in anticipation of knowing what will come next for these two lovebirds. i laughed a whole lot, and i cried a little bit; but for the most part, i snuggled up with my pillow- reignited in my love for love and dreaming of what it will be like when love and i finally find each other! more than anything, it reminded me of how much i want to fall in love!
my favorite scene:
i need someone to crecreate that entire scene for me! lol. i need that duck-filled lake boat ride. that was seriously one of the most beautiful things i’ve ever seen!
At 24, Will McNair was lost. Although he had a successful year in New York City under his belt after moving from California, as well as a very promising job at Google, he felt inadequate and unaccomplished. Having grown up in South Central Los Angeles the sheltered son of a preacher man and woman, he hid his sexuality and identity from the world out of fear and insecurity. But on January 8, 2004- just a few months short of his 25th birthday- Will set off on a search for himself.
In Evolution Of A Man, written as his personal journal from 2004 – 2008, Will openly and candidly explores who he is as a person of greatness, while struggling to let go of the past and move into the future. From addressing insecurities and breaking away from the strict ideals of his parents; to losing his virginity and finding peace with his sexuality, Evolution Of A Man paints an intimate picture of what it means to face yourself, challenge your fears, and realize your own true potential.
********************
i cannot tell you how excited i am about this project. it’s been a long and hard journey, but the end result was well worth it! now that the book is done, i’m looking for publishing and marketing help. so send me those contacts, people lol. it’s time to get this thing off the ground!
after a visit to a lower east side haunted house and downing 3 mojtos at paladar, i now find myslef drunk and at a strip club waiting for some hot near-naked guy to strike my fancy. i got money to spend and i’ll be damned if i spend it on more alcohol
*note: picture taken while drunk and trying to avoid club security*
it’s been a good 5 or 6 months since my little hot pocket has seen any action. suffering from an acute case withdrawal, it’s become a bit melancholy. so last night, before bed, i had to venture into my box of tricks for some fun. tired of the old “beat the meat” routine that is my usual nightcap, i reached for my trustworthy and dependable friend:
my aneros mgx!
this little doo-hickey is my “boyfriend” away from boyfriend. as i’m quite single, suffice it to say, the aneros is my only boyfriend. but i digress…
a long time ago, a friend of mine- knowing about my predicament- suggested that i go out and purchase this little bit of heaven. he promised that upon using it, i would no longer have use for a man. the pleasure is supposedly that good! he pointed me to aneros.com and suggested that i browse around.
for those of you not in the know, lemme break it down for you. the aneros, simply put, is a hands-free devide specifically designed for male prostate or “g-spot” stimulation. no batteries; no vibrations; just the aneros and your body’s own energy. imagine pleasuring yourself to the point of multiple orgasms. the “super-o” if you will. i know that seems like a myth to many men, but lemme tell ya- it’s real… and it’s serious!
you’re not getting any other personal details from me…’cuz that’s my bidness; but i will say that i have found a new friend in my aneros mgx (i’m mad at the acronym-extension). fellas, i know the subject of prostate stimulation can be foreign to those who don’t take it up the ass, but humor me for a second- and do yourself a favor in the process- and pick one of these badboys up. you won’t be disappointed!
i just finished watching “stomp the yard” on the starz movie channel, and i gotta say, i really love that movie! for one, i love dancing. dancing and stomping are two things that i’ve, on several occasion, tried to do, but could never quite get the hang of. one person who’s definitely got it down (and quite deliciously i might add) is:
columbus short
it’s been a really long time since i’ve seen anyone move like columbus did in this movie! maybe it’s a result of me being disconnected to practically anything going on in the streets, but his dance moves were nothing like i’ve ever seen! i would love to take dance lessons from him! like in some gay remake of “save the last dance” or some shit. in “stomp the yard” megan good won his affection; however if this were my movie, columbus would have fallen in love with me- the quiet, but sexy bandsman that just happened to catch his fraternity-stompin’ eye.
his acting was good and, like i said, his dancing was amazing, but what also caught my eye (and warmed my little hot pocket) were the many times he appeared shirtless on screen:
*swoon!* there were times during the movie i could hardly contain myself. and the boy is funny and sweet, too! a cutie pie, a great dancer, and a good man! oh, what blissful heaven it would be to have a man like that by my side!
once, in bed bath and beyond, i was mistaken for columbus by one of the checkout girls. i greatly accepted the compliment (it was a really good one), but secretly wished that when she stared in my direction calling his name, columbus was actually there. i probably wouldn’t have been balsy enough to say something to him, but i definitely would have made some use of the situation, lol.
oh, columbus i heart you. for your dancing, your swagger, your smile, your sweat glistening body in this movie, and of course, your sexiness. you’ve made boy-crazy people such as myself swoon with delight the world over!
good job, jesus! can you send one of him to my doorstep, please?
in light of my recent request from the universe catalog, i decided to try something new and post a “misc. romance” ad on craigslist.
i’ve already made my request from the universe, and it dawned on me that sometimes we are required to take action on our own. while editing my book this afternoon, i had the idea of posting a dating ad on craigslist, so i thought of something cute and cool to say, added a picture, and set the post free on the internets.
we’ll see what comes in… i know i have to open myself up to the different types of guys that may hit me up. it’s so easy to read someone’s stats and/or look at their picture and discount them completely out of not being your immediate “type.” i do that shit all the time. this time i’m taking a new approach.
i’m going to start giving people a try. i’m always writing and talking about how no one will “date” me- that no one finds me attractive- or some shit like that, all the while forgetting the few people who do step to me that i ingnore out of not being hot and/or jumping off the page at first glance. that’s incredibly shallow, and it’s not me. i know better than that. how the hell can i expect someone to give me a chance, if i’m stepping over every possibility who doesn’t fit my ideal? crazy, right!
i’m taking this opportunity to not only put myself out there in the dating pool, but to open myself up to meeting all types of people. who knows what will come out of all of it. they’re just dates… not commitment ceremonies! jeez!
i woke up this morning to a very beautiful day. as per usual, while updating myself on the day’s news [read browsed celebrity blogs], i took in weather on the 1s on NY1. i wasn’t really paying attention to the tv until pat keirnan said:
uh, if you have been forgetting what rain looks like, wait until thursday…
damn that pat keirnan! why did you have to say it like that? i both cried and died of laughter. oh well. i’m going for a walk… make use of this nice weather.
i want to go on a date. it’s been a while… like a year, plus!
just thought i’d put that out there. i don’t get out much these days, and i would really love to go on a date sometime in the next month. so i’m ordering it from the universe. one, please!
a few days ago i was at the speakeasy [neighborhood bar] hanging out and enjoying a few cocktails, when a gentleman at the bar saw my iPhone and began to strike up a conversation. we exchanged pleasantries and excitedly talked about our i-products- he has an iTouch, me, an iPhone- and how much we love them. our conversation soon turned to some of the wonderful (and free) applications that are now available to us at the touch of a button.
the iTunes app store has, like hundreds of applications available for download to either the iTouch or the iPhone. the problem, sometimes, is if you don’t quite know what you’re looking for, then the chances of you finding a hot app to download are slim. unless you find yourself in a conversation with someone whose got an iProduct of their own. barmate, with off-the-wall excitement in his voice, schooled me on several applications i was missing and should add immediately to my iPhone.
here are a couple applications that i just couldn’t resist downloading:
remote:
this little ditty works as a remote control to my desktop and laptop iTunes libraries. for example, i was cleaning my apartment the other day- playing music while doing so- and a song that i’m not particularly fond of came on. instead of trecking over to my computer desk (which was in another room) and selecting a new song, i simply pulled out my iPhone, opened the remote application, and selected a new song to play. genius!
shazam:
you ever hear a song somewhere and couldn’t for the life of you name the title and artist? i know… it happens to me a lot too. well now if i hear a song somewhere, and would like to know what it is, and who sings it, all i have to do is pull out my iPhone, open the shazam application, and place the phone in front of the audio source. it will listen to the song, and within seconds let me know the name, artist, and more!
after hearing about these amazing applications, i then had to school barmate on a few applications from my own iPhone:
the bible:
this one was pretty self-explanatory for me. as soon as i came upon it in the iTunes app store, i immediately downloaded it. this one application is the “you version” of the bible- named so because you can cater it to your needs. there are 13 different translations to choose from (i use the king james version), as well as daily reads and book breakdowns (books of history, poetry, law, the gospels) and more! definitely a must-have!
iTrans NYC Subway:
i use this ALL THE TIME! especially on the weekends, when trains decide to either stop running completely, or detour themselves due to construction. it’s great to have a complete subway map- including line notification and arrival “times”- right in my pocket. it’s definitely a lifesaver!
wordpress:
this is the app that i’ve been using through out my writing exploits underground. i’ve been able to connect “evolution of a man” to my iPhone, and write posts from anywhere and everywhere. of course, i’m not able to actually publish anything until i’m back above ground and connected to the internet. but still… it saves a hell of a lot of time, and allows for a much more interesting and spontaneous variety of posts! this one is my fav!
the excitement of our conversation- all of the “oh my god” and “that’s fucking awesome’s”- elicited many a smirk and raised eyebrow from the bartenders and other patrons; but we were seriously blown away. i ran into barmate in the neighborhood yesterday, and we thanked each other again for the information share. we’ve both been using our new applications like crazy, and are showing no sign of stopping anytime soon, lol.
for serious, y’all… go out and get yourselves an iPhone today if you haven’t already done so! it’ll be the most productive and entertaining purchase you’ll make all year!
will on September 30th, 2008
