Evolution Of A Man

we’ve come a long way, baby!

i dropped my mom off at amtrak penn station this afternoon, and i must say that i really had a great time while she was here. as i mentioned before, i was really looking forward to her visit this time around. the door of communication between us has recently been opened a bit more; and this past week of hanging out with her has opened it even more.

pretty much from the moment she arrived, we just chilled. she was very laid back the entire time she was here, and i released some tension. i think we’re both at the point where we’re ready to be ourselves around each other- and not sort of shoot the side-eye at each other’s personalities. we’re not all the way there… we still have yet to open our relationship to comfortably discussing my sexuality. however, we did dive a bit into my sister’s relationship, as well as her experiences beginning to meet men at an older age. we’re gettin’ there…

one of the funny things to happen while she was here was her reaction to the amount of walking she had to do. now, my mom is from brooklyn and queens, but has lived in los angeles for the past 30 years or so. the woman walks nowhere! but when she got here, she wanted to check out this and that, as well as that and this- not really realizing that those places were all over the city via various subway lines and stations. and any new yorker knows how crazy the trains can be during the weekend. on saturday, we ventured to serendipity3- a new york landmark known most memorably for their frozen hot chocolate. before we were able to partake, however, we had to deal with mta service changes and lots of subway stairs. mama was not ready for that one. she practically jumped to sit down when we finally got to serendipity3:

after about a 45 minute wait, we found ourselves at a table in one of the coziest sections of the restaurant. my mom was really excited. i’d been there before and had a very pleasant experience, so being able to go for round 2 with my mom made me happy. i made us a very tasty lunch earlier, so we were all about the desert business. after we ordered, my mom got a little carried away and asked our waiter if she could keep the rather large and extravagant menu. the waiter misunderstood her question (thinking she just wanted to hold it for a little while longer) and said “yeah, sure.” i had to school her for a second that the waiter answered the wrong question and that she was crazy to think that the she could just swipe a menu. she didn’t believe me, and when the waiter came back, she asked her question again… the waiter laughed, and then said “no.” so i took a picture to at least capture the memory of the menu and the moment:

when our deserts arrived, we sat open-mouthed and silenced at the amount of calories sitting before us- not to mention the sheer amount of dairy and sugary goodness they piled onto our plates. my mom ordered the “coward’s banana split,” but couldn’t help repeating, “this is the ‘cowards’ portion?” while trying to comprehend how she was going to finish. me? i made an even larger mistake. i ordered a frozen hot chocolate and slice of black forest cake. i wanted something like a chocolate soufle with a little ice cream. i searched and combed the menu for something that fit, but found nothing. so i settled. it wasn’t until after the order was placed- when i looked over the menu my mom was trying to steal- that i saw the “forbidden broadway sunday” [read: chocolate soufle with a little ice cream]. i was heated; and my mom… overwhelmed. but still, we pressed on:

the deserts left us, i’m sure, at least 3 pounds heavier (so much for my recent workouts); but they were so freakin’ good we didn’t care at all. our excited and surprised conversation caught the attention of a family sitting at the next table. they were there celebrating the mom’s getting her master’s degree (congrats, laura!). we all (including their curious son, patrick ) ended up having a great conversation about a variety of topics- tourism, writing, and the most interesting…. parenting. neither my mom or i expected it, but it became obvious in all our conversation of how worrysome and overprotective my mom is of me. the father, ted, and my mom then got into a conversation about how my mom needs to let go of me, and begin to really start living a life of her own. he wasn’t rude in his delivery- in fact, he was quite hilarious and entertaining. but he made his point. my mom contested with phrases like, “but i worry about him and what he’s doing…” and “i don’t want to see him get hurt. i want to see him do well.” to all this, every time my mom responded in the same manner, ted just replied, “let him go!” through all this, i sat quietly with a smile on my face and a nod in my head. it meant one thing coming from me, but something incredibly different coming from a complete stranger. i think she got the point…

our fabulous week together continued, and soon sunday was upon us- the day of her visit that she, in particular, was waiting for. for those of you who don’t know, my mama wrote a book. it’s called, “bitter roots” and it’s on bookshelves now! it’s a christian suspense novel, and between you and me… it’s really good (pick it up!). anywayz, sunday held the brooklyn book festival at borough hall:

she and an acquaintance of hers from l.a. shared a booth in a prime passer-by location of the plaza. we got there sometime around 9:30, and from 10 to 4 she talked, chatted, and sold her butt off. so much so, that i am very proud to say she suceeded in selling every copy of the book she brought with her to new york. huzzah! the woman went to work! i just took a back seat, got her water and food, and worked on the book that i, myself am writing (details coming soon…). i tried to do a little networking of my own- realizing in the process that i’ve got a lot of work to do mentally to prepare myself for what is to come. but watching my mom in action really helped put a lot of things in perspective, as well as gave me really good tips on how to put myself out there.

as you can tell, i had a really great time with my mom during her visit. today, she left for the second half of her east coast tour in philadelphia. i will definitely miss her, but i am also happy to have my couch again. just kidding, lol. [no, seriously. i do a lot of t.v. watching on that couch!]. all jokes aside though, i had an incredibly great time with her, and i definitely see us talking more and communicating a lot better in the future- which is quite alright with me.

methinks this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship! i luv ya, mom!