Evolution Of A Man

i know that exclamation point and smile raised some eyebrows. it raised mine at first, but i gotta tell you… for the first time since i moved to new york, i’m actually really excited about my mom’s week-long visit..

I feel like recently a door of communication has been slightly opened between us. a few weeks ago, she called me to tell me something she learned about my sister and how she felt about it. she, no doubt, thought i held her same opinion- it was written all over her voice. however, my opinion was the complete opposite; and for the first time in my life, i handed a little tough love back, and schooled my mom on the proper ways in which she should communicate to her now-adult children.

i explained to her that in the past, her reactions to the things we bring to her about our lives- whether positive or negative- were usually met with an initial response of negativity as opposed to excitement or support. her immediate reaction is always to spit off why she feels what we are doing is bad- primarily because they are things she would not herself do. i acknowledged that it may have not been her intention to react to us in this manner, but i also impressed upon her the effect that such behavior has had on my sister and me. knowing the resentment my mom has had for her own past, i was able to give her examples of things she has either said or done to my sister and i that have, in part, forged the disconnect that she feels lies between her and her children.

i was able to speak to her with clarity and understanding- something that i was not able to do before. it all boils down to a) my simply being fed up with her reacting to our lives in this way; and b) my now much better understanding of myself, and confidence in what it is i want out of this lifetime- one of those things being a great relationship with my mother. after our conversation, she apparently called my sister to apologize- something my sister completely did not expect and was very grateful for. i believe, now more than ever, that a better relationship between the two of is- all of us, really- is possible. and it continues to grow with my moms visit this week.

i’m on the subway, writing this post on the way to JFK to pick her up (God i love my iPhone!). i really can’t wait to spend some time with her- all the while being myself and opening that door of communication and understanding wide open. she’s really going to meet me this week in a way that i don’t think she’s been privy to before. and i’m sure i’ll learn many things about her as well…

so the evolution continues… here’s to a better relationship with the parental units. one based on adult respect and communication, and unconditional family love!

*update* mommy’s here! let the fun begin!