Evolution Of A Man

the other day i attended a law of attraction meetup. the discussion was around using the law of attraction to better your relationships. i mentioned in an earlier post how i became clear on how to to not project my negative “mirror” onto others; as well as how not to give and give trying to provide what i think others may need or want.

a large portion of the meetup was also dedicated to finding a mate. this was pretty much why i decided to attend in the first place. i’m almost 30, have never been in a relationship, and have only “dated” 2 people (both a week or less- can i still call that “dating?”). i feel undesirable when it comes to dating and meeting men. i want to be in a relationship, but don’t know what i need to do to fall into one. apparently, my approach is all wrong.

a lot of people say that love will find you when you’re not looking for it and when you least expect it. i partially agree with that. i do believe that it can happen when you least expect, but i don’t agree that i have to stop looking for love in order for love to find me. i should, probably, stop focusing on it though. there was a woman in the meeting who had a few hangups about love and finding a companion. a year or so ago, she decided to use what she had learned using the law of attraction to switch her focus and attract a great man into her life. last month, she was married to the man she attracted.

when we heard that we had to ask her what she did that was so different to attract such a great guy into her life. she offered the following 3 suggestions:

• find a way to be okay with being single. get yourself away from a feeling of lacking. “i’m lacking a boyfriend” or “if only i had a boyfriend…”
• write that shopping list! be very clear about what you want and are looking for (be brief, too: 1-10 items)
• believe it’s on it’s way! get emotional an enthusiastic about it!

i really like where she was coming from. i can’t really attract a boyfriend if all i’m thinking about is how i don’t have one. that will only create more of not having a boyfriend. i’ve made a list before, but it was very broad and (now that i think about it) pretty long, too. finally, i do get emotional and enthusiastic about the subject, but only as it relates to my lacking a boyfriend or relationship. i get so sad and frustrated about why i don’t have that special someone in my life. i need to start getting excited about the fact that he’s on his way!

i’m still working on the first point- my mind is very comfortable in the misery that is my loneliness right now. finding a way to be okay with being single is proving harder than I thought, lol. as for my list, I’ve made a new, more definitive and clear one:

i want a partner who:

• loves God and is spiritual, but not overly-religious
• is smarter than me; but not so much so that i feel stupid around him
• is financially stable, and manages his money well
• loves the outdoors, but is not a fanatic of extreme activities
• is honest, thoughtful and considerate to me and those he encounters
• wants to raise a family together (and be a full participant)
• is driven and ambitious, but knows how to balance work and home
• is affectionate, but doesn’t smother
• likes to laugh, and doesn’t take life too seriously
• is patient, humble and open to trying and learning new things

i like this list. oddly enough, a lot more than the first one. this one seems more concrete- like, i can actually picture this person in my head. he exists to me, and now all i have to do is make him exist in the world (if that makes sense, lol). basically, believe that he’s out there and that he’s getting closer and closer to me every single day. i’m going to think about what it will be like once he arrives, and not why he’s not here yet. i’m switching up my approach and staying positive. let’s go!