clarity
yesterday i wrote a bit about the desires i have for someone in my life and how i’ve sort of fallen into something that i not only can’t really explain, but also don’t know how to let go. it didn’t take long at all for me to get my answer.
less than 2 hours after i wrote that post, i got a text message from my crush (we’ll call him “simon”) asking if i was at home and if he could come over. i immediately said “yup” in the hopes that we would have a bit of fun. simon came over soon thereafter, and we did have a great time, but not like i imagined. there has definitley been a stress on our relationship as of late, and the time had cone for us to address it.
to my surprise, simon took responsibility for his being less than a good friend to me despite all that i have done for him. i could hear the sincerity in his voice, which really made me feel better! he also shared what’s been going on in his life that resulted in things falling apart. he’s got a tremendous amount of shit on his plate, and i realized that my pressuring him wasn’t making anything easier.
that said, i apologized for my actions- getting upset when things didn’t go my way, pressuring him to hook up, and not being sympathetic to all that he has going on right now. we both agreed that something’s gotta give, and we talked about how we can interact in the future to stay on the same page. basically, we need to work on our communication. we get so angry, frustrated and resentful out of not communicating with each other and expressing exactly what is on our minds. things fester and get bigger in our heads until we end up going off on each other. not good! so we vowed to moving forward say what’s on our minds- express our frustrations, wants, concerns, and desires. from there, we’ll then talk it out and come to a conclusion as to what we should do.
all in all, i really appreciated the talk we had. it was a long time coming. we understand each other and our individual situations a lot more now; and we are much more respecting of each other. we’re on our way to a good friendship- a balanced friendship. and that’s all that i want.
it feels so good to finally hear the truth and get some clarity!
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