on waking up, and taking baby steps…
will on December 18th, 2008
it seems that the universe is trying to tell me something. after spending months feeling incompetent and sorry for myself, every day this week i’ve gotten call after call from friends telling me to wake up and snap the fuck out of it!
all out of brotherly love, i’ve had my life handed to me in so many ways, and from just about everybody, but my friend, the oneironaut, said something to me this morning that really hit home. he was simply checking in on me, and ended up getting a full dose of me boo-hooing about my life. he listened, sighed, and then gave me some medicine. there were many things that he said to me- all in truth as a brother would tell them- but there was something in particular, that struck the hardest:
“… you’re lazy…anything that requires more action that you’re prepared to give…you give up on.”
that statement took me right to the unnecessary excuses and procrastination that have kept stagnant the last 4 or 5 months of my life. i’ve gotten very little work done because i’ve been sitting here scared to try anything; and when i do, i crumble at the first obstacle or test of will (no pun intended). all i could think was, “when did i become so lazy?” like, seriously. i was NEVER this lazy before!
in my spirit, i feel a bit of a loss of the joie de vivre that i prided myself by earlier this year. the candle is flickering now, instead of burning bright; and i need to revive that spirit. it’s high time i muster up some drive and determination, and follow my dreams full out!
the oneironaut gave me some really good advice. baby steps. rome wasn’t built in a day; nye media won’t be either. i’m in my crawling stage now- on the brink of a new year- and today, with my sights set to the sky, i reach for the coffee table top, take a big breath, and begin to pull myself up…
