2009, for many people and for many reasons, represents a time of hope, and a chance to find fulfillment and foster change. i recently watched oprah’sbest life week series and was struck by a piece of advice from suze orman. she suggested that we all use the year 2009 to lay the foundation for the next 5-10 years of our lives. she was referring primarily to our finances, of course, but it’s really a very sage piece of advice for all areas of our lives. and so i’ve taken it upon myself to evaluate my life as it is right now- look at what i do have, think about what i want, and use 2009 to lay a solid foundation for the next decade of my life.
i find myself, this first month of the new year, in the midst of the most difficult, frustrating and uncertain time of my life. in the last two weeks alone i’ve wanted to let go and give up on several occasions. i have no career, no money, and no social life; and find myself struggling just to get out of bed in the morning. as i begin to approach my 30th birthday, i don’t really know what i want out of and for my life, but i am holding on as tight as i possibly can to my faith that this rough patch is only temporary, and the best is yet to come.
one beacon of hope- something that i do have to work with right now- is my book, “evolution of a man: a journal of self-discovery.” in the last few days, i have completed the final draft, and am ready to publish and release my work. all i have to do now is come up with $1,500 or so for self-publishing and distribution. finishing this project is a tremendous accomplishment for me-words can’t express how proud and excited i am. laying the foundation for my career begins with this project. this book is the only brick i have to lay in place right now. i may be struggling with financing, but at least i’ve got a product- so i can breathe a little sigh of relief. i know that i want a career as an entertainment and motivational entrepreneur (read: mogul), and this book, in my opinion, gives me a great opportunity to begin such a career; but the question that still hangs over my head (and one that i truly hope to figure out in 2009) is “what do i want to do?”
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career aspirations aside, i’m doing a bit of groundwork in my personal life as well. i am really serious (this year more than ever) about staying healthy and fit, and being social offline and outside of my apartment. in the past couple of weeks, i’ve been working out like crazy in my home wii fit- bowflex equipped gym. the deal i made with myself was to work out for an hour a day, 5 to 6 days a week. 3 days a week i do half an hour of cardio on the wii, followed by a 20-30 minute bowflex workout; and the other 3-4 days i’m strictly wii-fit (aerobics, yoga and strength training). working out hasn’t been nearly as difficult as i thought it would be- especially after meditating in the morning. usually i avoid working out at all costs, but something in me has changed. i still don’t look forward to hittin’ the gym so-to-speak, but now that my spirit is on board, it is now much easier to talk myself into working out than to talk myself out of it.
getting my social life together, however, is going to be more difficult. when it comes to being social (mostly with people whom i’ve never met) i am more of a wallflower than a butterfly. it is my goal to dramatically change that in 2009. i really need to get out, meet new people, try new things, and further open my mind. being a creature of habit, i’m very set in my ways, but i have made a promise to myself to get out of my own way and enjoy all that new york city has to offer. i combed the pages of this week’s time out nyc magazine, and highlighted many events all over the city that sparked my interest. there’s definitely some really cool stuff out there, and i can’t wait to get started. the biggest obstacle for me these days, though, is braving the cold weather of winter. I HATE BEING COLD! but i’ll just have to suck it up, buy some thermal underwear, and call it a day until mother nature brings the heat once again.
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i have no doubt that 2009 will be a great year for me. there’s much to do and much more to look forward to. i’ve lost myself in the last 8 or 9 months, and it’s really important to me that i get my life back. although i’m not entirely sure of where i’m going, or what i’m doing, i know i will find my footing very soon, and begin to lay the foundation for an incredibly bright and successful future. here’s to 2009!
watching a run’s house marathon yesterday, while writing down my goals and thinking about what i want to do in 2009, vanessa and angela simmons every so often would appear to give me a heads up on their new series: daddy’s girlson mtv. i had no idea that this show was about to air! i am so on board with any “run’s house” goings on. rev run is such an amazing man and father; and he’s raised his kids to be inspired, fun and successful people. i look up to him, and therefore, am all about any simmons family activity.
the show follows vanessa and angela simmons in los angeles as they take their sweet tooth-inspired athletics line, pastry,to new and tastier heights. adding a clothing and handbag line to their already trendy footwear offering, the two sisters get their young mogul on, and give young women across the country an example of what it means to take an idea and build a business.
in the last season of run’s house, the girls lived a bi-coastal lifestyle between new york and los angeles; but now they are full-time los angeleans- taking on the responsibilities that come with being on your own and figuring life out for yourself. in this new series, we are invited to watch as vanessa, angela, their cousin jessica, and friend alycia begin their careers, struggle with the obstacles of life and business, date, and enjoy their youth. and at the end of the day, no matter what they may experience- good or bad- one phone call connects them back to that place of love, peace, and serenity where they’ll always be daddy’s girls.
i’m incredibly excited about this show for a number of reasons, but mainly to gain inspiration from watching these girls build their company and grow as people. i feel like the release of this show is perfect timing for anyone looking to take their lives to the next level. it’s the beginning of the year, and people all over the world are looking for inspiration to get it together. i beleive watching daddy’s girls will not only entertain me on a comedic, reality television level; but will also re-connect me to what is possible with an idea, a dream, and some hard work.
daddy’s girls premiers january 5th at 10:30pm on mtv. check it out!
that is what 2009 is all about for me- finding and following my bliss. it’s time for me to take a stand in my life, believe in the power of “me”, and take action in my hustle. 2008 was a year of a rough for me. although i finally came to a place where i, for the most part, knew who i was as a person; i struggled to be that person in the face of everything, and to go out and claim what is mine from the universe. in this new year of change, inspiration and self-empowerment, i must put my best foot forward, take action, and rise to the challenge of creating a fulfilling and successful life of my own.
speaking frankly, at this very moment, i have no idea what i want to do with my life. and that scares the crap out of me. sure, i have all these ideas and aspirations of being a (gay) media personality swirling around in my head; but there’s a big part of me that wants to do that out of a need to fill a void in my life as opposed to attaining some level of self-actualization. i’m going to be 30 years old this year, and i’m frustrated with not at all knowing what i want to do; what i want to be; what i can do; and what excites me. i’m ready to take my life back and find purpose again, but don’t really know where to start.
i shared all of this with dr. eye candy [read: my therapist] earlier this week, and his biggest piece of advice was to stop waiting for an epiphany. find something- anything- to do and go do it. when i got fired last year, a subconscious reaction that i had was to cut myself off from the rest of the world. i spent most of my time, since april, alone in my apartment waiting for an idea, a job, or a life to come and find me as opposed to going out and finding it for myself. obviously, that didn’t work. at all. he impressed upon me the importance of discovering what i like and finding my passions again by getting back out into the world and trying new things. in addition, once i find something, it is also important to not put all my eggs in one basket (as i often tend to do), and keep the momentum going by continuing to open my mind to new experiences, places, and people.
i thought a lot about what excites me and makes me happy right now, and the two things that stick out are helping and entertaining people. those are two examples of things i not only like doing; but find myself doing without really thinking about it. for example, i love doing anything i can to make better the lives of the people around me. i’m always putting in my two cents- either figuratively or literally- in an effort to help my friends be the best they can be. additionally, i’m always trying to find ways to entertain people. whether it’s just throwing a movie night or party in my apartment, or making people laugh (or even smile). i just love to put smiles on people’s faces. the happiest i’ve ever been was during my performing days with the cal band in college. nothing else in my life mattered as long as i could march, play, and dance in a saturday afternoon football game. my passions are still there… i just have to bring them back to life again.
before i left his office, dr. eye candy challenged me to, in the coming week, visit three lgbt community establishments and look into setting up a forum at which i can speak and share my experiences, or volunteer in one of their programs. the former scares me to death, as off the cuff i can’t think of anything to talk about; but the whole point of all of this is to push me to find what excites me. i need to seek out that which makes me happy and fulfilled, and milk it for all it’s worth. lord knows i love talking to people, and my mission is to help and inspire young gay men to be themselves and live their lives proudly; so i guess speaking my experiences in that area fits.
i’m sure there are many of you out there who find yourself in the same place as me these days- jobless, bored, and looking for a spark to ignite the passion within. if you can relate, i encourage you to join me in finding and following your bliss. let’s get out and do something HUGE for ourselves and our communities! who knows what you could gain from stepping out on faith and taking a chance to try something new.
will on January 25th, 2009
