follow your bliss!
will on January 2nd, 2009
that is what 2009 is all about for me- finding and following my bliss. it’s time for me to take a stand in my life, believe in the power of “me”, and take action in my hustle. 2008 was a year of a rough for me. although i finally came to a place where i, for the most part, knew who i was as a person; i struggled to be that person in the face of everything, and to go out and claim what is mine from the universe. in this new year of change, inspiration and self-empowerment, i must put my best foot forward, take action, and rise to the challenge of creating a fulfilling and successful life of my own.
speaking frankly, at this very moment, i have no idea what i want to do with my life. and that scares the crap out of me. sure, i have all these ideas and aspirations of being a (gay) media personality swirling around in my head; but there’s a big part of me that wants to do that out of a need to fill a void in my life as opposed to attaining some level of self-actualization. i’m going to be 30 years old this year, and i’m frustrated with not at all knowing what i want to do; what i want to be; what i can do; and what excites me. i’m ready to take my life back and find purpose again, but don’t really know where to start.
i shared all of this with dr. eye candy [read: my therapist] earlier this week, and his biggest piece of advice was to stop waiting for an epiphany. find something- anything- to do and go do it. when i got fired last year, a subconscious reaction that i had was to cut myself off from the rest of the world. i spent most of my time, since april, alone in my apartment waiting for an idea, a job, or a life to come and find me as opposed to going out and finding it for myself. obviously, that didn’t work. at all. he impressed upon me the importance of discovering what i like and finding my passions again by getting back out into the world and trying new things. in addition, once i find something, it is also important to not put all my eggs in one basket (as i often tend to do), and keep the momentum going by continuing to open my mind to new experiences, places, and people.
i thought a lot about what excites me and makes me happy right now, and the two things that stick out are helping and entertaining people. those are two examples of things i not only like doing; but find myself doing without really thinking about it. for example, i love doing anything i can to make better the lives of the people around me. i’m always putting in my two cents- either figuratively or literally- in an effort to help my friends be the best they can be. additionally, i’m always trying to find ways to entertain people. whether it’s just throwing a movie night or party in my apartment, or making people laugh (or even smile). i just love to put smiles on people’s faces. the happiest i’ve ever been was during my performing days with the cal band in college. nothing else in my life mattered as long as i could march, play, and dance in a saturday afternoon football game. my passions are still there… i just have to bring them back to life again.
before i left his office, dr. eye candy challenged me to, in the coming week, visit three lgbt community establishments and look into setting up a forum at which i can speak and share my experiences, or volunteer in one of their programs. the former scares me to death, as off the cuff i can’t think of anything to talk about; but the whole point of all of this is to push me to find what excites me. i need to seek out that which makes me happy and fulfilled, and milk it for all it’s worth. lord knows i love talking to people, and my mission is to help and inspire young gay men to be themselves and live their lives proudly; so i guess speaking my experiences in that area fits.
i’m sure there are many of you out there who find yourself in the same place as me these days- jobless, bored, and looking for a spark to ignite the passion within. if you can relate, i encourage you to join me in finding and following your bliss. let’s get out and do something HUGE for ourselves and our communities! who knows what you could gain from stepping out on faith and taking a chance to try something new.
