Walk with your DICK!
will on July 22nd, 2009
My friend mentioned this to me today as we were strolling down the street. He was describing the manner in which men (specifically black men) saunter around the blocks of their neighborhood. “You know the kind of guys you see walking around that just have that swagger- that emanating presence of confidence and sexuality,” he said? “They walk with their dicks!” My right eye twitched and eventually released a heavy side-eye upon the fuckery I thought was that statement; but trotting down the long stretch of road leading to the Utica A-train I encountered several guys who, as subtly as they could, directed their gaze to my friend and his apparent “swagger.” I was intrigued by his theory. There were glances in his direction as we approached, and turned, back-facing gazes as we passed. Whether or not they were checking him out, I don’t know; but they were looking…hard. He attributed all the attention to the confidence in his step (he said he feels amazing today) and the security he has in his own manhood, asserting, “I may be a little feminine, but I got a dick and I love being a man. Guys look at me and like my swagger ‘cuz I, like them, walk with my dick. That’s what you gotta do… walk with your dick!”
walk. with. my. dick. hmmm…
I’ve given much thought to the general meaning of the word, “swagger” and I’m admittedly still a little fuzzy; at least I was until this afternoon. I looked it up in the Urban Dictionary and found several definitions. A person’s swagger (or “swagga” as it is more commonly known) is:
“How one presents him or her self to the world. Swagger is shown from how the person handles a situation. It can also be shown in a person’s walk.”
I didn’t quite grasp onto this particular definition- the use of the word “situation” here irked me and derailed my understanding. I kinda hate how much we [read: black people (including myself)] repeatedly use that word as a way to, I dunno, NOT fully describe the events or circumstances about which we’re talking… but that’s just me. I found another, more satisfying, definition that simply defined “swagger” as:
“A person’s style- the way they walk, talk, dress.”
Clearly, defining the word “swagger” isn’t all that difficult and I’m just slow. After reading through some of the other definitions, though, I realized that my confusion isn’t about how swagger is defined, but more so how [a prominent] swagger is exuded. I’ve only really heard the word used to describe the more urban or “hood” dick-walkers figures of the black male community as opposed to someone like myself… or, say, Wayne Brady. Can I not have swagger; or is my swagger just not yet evolved? The suggestion to “walk with your dick” does sound appealing in this I-haven’t-had-sex-in-over-a-year age, but would it really give me swagger? What does it even mean to walk with your dick? I decided to put it to the test.
While traipsing around Soho this afternoon with my newly self-proclaimed dick-walking friend I, myself, tried to attempt walking with my dick. When my thoughts traveled to the task at hand I pushed my groin outward, and drew all my attention to the power of my penile area. It felt, for a minute, very “welcome to my penis”-esque (and I’m sure my facial expressions could have gotten me arrested, somewhere); but soon the concept set in, over the execution, and I was able to pull my body together. I recognized that it’s not about expressing my penis power physically (the penis, in fact, is irrelevant altogether), but about expressing the confidence—the swagger—behind it. “Walk with your dick” now made sense- giving me a thoughtful and fun way to exude confidence; and my side-eye the space to retreat and slumber once again.
When it comes to having swagger, you exude it by way of being. Being tha shit—many imitators, but no contenders! You take that mentality with you everywhere you go, and use it in everything you do. You WALK WIT YO’ DICK! Oh, it’s on- my life is now changed! I have crossed over into swagger territory, people. It’s only a matter of time before I reach official dick-walker status! My grind is on and my hustle has stepped up. It’s about to go down! Who’s got their swagga on?
*raises hand*
