Evolution Of A Man

All this damn rain in NYC may be dampening the everlasting hell out of my usually bright spirits, but the sun just came out…in the form of an official coming out statement from CNN news anchor Don Lemon!

Don, in an interview with the New York Times, voiced his truth about being black gay man and how difficult it is to come out as such, considering how negatively the African-American community views homosexuality:

“People are going to say: ‘Oh, he was molested as a kid and now he is coming out.’ I get it.[...]I’m scared. I’m talking about something that people might shun me for, ostracize me for.”

“It’s quite different for an African-American male. It’s about the worst thing you can be in black culture. You’re taught you have to be a man; you have to be masculine. In the black community they think you can pray the gay away.[...]You’re afraid that black women will say the same things they do about how black men should be dating black women. I guess this makes me a double minority now.”

“I think it would be great if everybody could be out, but it’s such a personal choice. People have to do it at their own speed. I respect that. I do have to say that the more people who come out, the better it is for everyone, certainly for the Tyler Clementis [the Rutgers student who committed suicide after being outed on the internet] of the world.[...]I abhor hypocrisy. I think if you’re going to be in the business of news, and telling people the truth, of trying to shed light in dark places, then you’ve got to be honest. You’ve got to have the same rules for yourself as you do for everyone else.[...]I think if I had seen more people like me who are out and proud, it wouldn’t have taken me 45 years to say it ….to walk in the truth.”

This is friggin’ awesome!! Now, I don’t wanna be that guy who walks around saying “more black gay celebrities NEED to come out and be an example for the rest of us”– the weight of that flag-waving responsibility should not fall on any one person. However, to Don’s point, IT CERTAINLY HELPS!! The black community has a long way to go when it comes to accepting, or even tolerating, their gay brothers and sisters. In my opinion, this is largely due to religious beliefs, but also because of the stereotypes that are continuously perpetuated in the media about black gay men (and women). We’re either limp-wristed, feminine sissies, or down low adulterers. I don’t know about you, but I’m NEITHER one of those stereotypes. And neither is Don; which makes this particular “celebrity outing” all the more important and impactful. Don is an intelligent, sophisticated, well-spoken, and, dammit, phyne! black man who just happens to be gay.

I can’t even begin to tell you how happy this news makes me! As more black men and women come out, the definition of who we are expands; which will in turn foster understanding, acceptance, and, eventually, appreciation among our own people. In my opinion, Don Lemon’s coming out is a HUGE step in that direction.

Thank you, Don, for voicing your truth. I know it was a difficult choice, and there are now concerns about how this news will be taken by the masses; but from the bottom of my heart–and I’d imagine thousands of young black gay men across the country–THANK YOU!

Don’s memoir titled “Transparent” will be available for purchase in June. You can read his coming out letter at Monsters & Critics.