Don, in an interview with the New York Times, voiced his truth about being black gay man and how difficult it is to come out as such, considering how negatively the African-American community views homosexuality:

“People are going to say: ‘Oh, he was molested as a kid and now he is coming out.’ I get it.[...]I’m scared. I’m talking about something that people might shun me for, ostracize me for.”

“It’s quite different for an African-American male. It’s about the worst thing you can be in black culture. You’re taught you have to be a man; you have to be masculine. In the black community they think you can pray the gay away.[...]You’re afraid that black women will say the same things they do about how black men should be dating black women. I guess this makes me a double minority now.”

“I think it would be great if everybody could be out, but it’s such a personal choice. People have to do it at their own speed. I respect that. I do have to say that the more people who come out, the better it is for everyone, certainly for the Tyler Clementis [the Rutgers student who committed suicide after being outed on the internet] of the world.[...]I abhor hypocrisy. I think if you’re going to be in the business of news, and telling people the truth, of trying to shed light in dark places, then you’ve got to be honest. You’ve got to have the same rules for yourself as you do for everyone else.[...]I think if I had seen more people like me who are out and proud, it wouldn’t have taken me 45 years to say it ….to walk in the truth.”

This is friggin’ awesome!! Now, I don’t wanna be that guy who walks around saying “more black gay celebrities NEED to come out and be an example for the rest of us”– the weight of that flag-waving responsibility should not fall on any one person. However, to Don’s point, IT CERTAINLY HELPS!! The black community has a long way to go when it comes to accepting, or even tolerating, their gay brothers and sisters. In my opinion, this is largely due to religious beliefs, but also because of the stereotypes that are continuously perpetuated in the media about black gay men (and women). We’re either limp-wristed, feminine sissies, or down low adulterers. I don’t know about you, but I’m NEITHER one of those stereotypes. And neither is Don; which makes this particular “celebrity outing” all the more important and impactful. Don is an intelligent, sophisticated, well-spoken, and, dammit, phyne! black man who just happens to be gay.

I can’t even begin to tell you how happy this news makes me! As more black men and women come out, the definition of who we are expands; which will in turn foster understanding, acceptance, and, eventually, appreciation among our own people. In my opinion, Don Lemon’s coming out is a HUGE step in that direction.

Thank you, Don, for voicing your truth. I know it was a difficult choice, and there are now concerns about how this news will be taken by the masses; but from the bottom of my heart–and I’d imagine thousands of young black gay men across the country–THANK YOU!

Don’s memoir titled “Transparent” will be available for purchase in June. You can read his coming out letter at Monsters & Critics.

The recent news of Bishop Eddie Long’s alleged trysts with, now, 4 young men in Atlanta has caused quite the social ki-ki in both the African American and gay communities. At first, when hearing about a high-profile, vemehemtly homophobic preacher– a Bishop, mind you– being accused of sleeping with young men, I simply shrugged. I mean, what else is new? [Songwriter says, "...been doin' this shit for years!"]  But then details of the allegations started surfacing- like, the plaintiffs being minors when they (allegedly) had sex with Long; the exotic locations to which they were whised away by Long; and their supposed indoctrination into a group called  the  ”Spiritual Sons-” which included wedding-resembling ceremonies and a spiritual journey to righteousness detouring, occasionally and briefly, through Homoville. The side-eye my face released upon hearing that fuckery was EPIC!

I’ve been trying really hard to not judge Bishop Long based on these accusations. I wasn’t there; I’m not, myself, a “Spiritual Son;” and I’d never heard of Eddie Long until this story surfaced. But damn if this madness don’t seem like the slightest bit of justice to all the Hipocricy and Hate I’m told he’s been serving as a side dish to chicken and waffles all these years of Sundays at the 25,000-member strong New Birth Missionary (pun intended, I’m sure)  Baptist Church! There is a part of me (forgive me, Lord)– because of my disdain for how the (Black) church treats the gay community, while most of it’s members are, indeed, homosexual– that wants all this to be true…just cuz!

I read a great article written by Jelani Cobb, which I encourage you all to read, about his experience yesterday, watching Bishop Long deliver his first sermon since being accused. He talked about the energy and buzz hovering over the church that morning, and how despite Long giving a “non-denial denial” about what’s been going on, it didn’t matter at all due to the hold he seems to have (by his own creation) on that community. All the evidence in the world could be stacked up against this man and it wouldn’t matter to the people who have lived by his word and message all these years. To his congregation, an attack on Long is equivalent to an attack on religion itself…and every one of them is ready and willing to stand by him- no matter how guilty he may be. Cobb’s own ejection from the church after an usher saw him taking notes, deeming him a journalist – which garnered an uproar of cheers from the audience– is an interesting example of this. They ride or die for thier bishop! It’s unified statements like these that make it really hard for anyone to want to adopt organized religion as a primary tool for expanding their spirituality. The mob mentality that exists within religion– most vocally in Christianity– is very disheartening and, quite frankly, sad.  A church and/or it’s Pastor should not be larger than the message and teachings of Jesus Christ. He may be “yo Pastah,” but he’s still a human being…one who is just a man and makes mistakes. These allegations against Long may be just the wake up call his congregation needs… that hipocricy is very prevalent in their organization, and that the “Spiritual Sons” group is nothing but a ruse (the Boondocks Tyler Perry episode comes to mind).

[SIDEBAR]

I really wanna go in on the fact that these “Spiritual Sons” were only 16 and 17 when Bishop Long (allegedly) wined, dined and caressed his way into their nether regions; but a friend of mine informed me that the age of sexual consent in the state of Georgia is 16, thus making this a civil suit and not a sexual abuse case. So I must keep my peace. [insert Riley Freeman "booooo" here]

still…ewww!

[/SIDEBAR]

Like I said…I don’t know if he did abuse his power to have sex with these men. I wasn’t there. Furthermore, it’s really none of my business. But I am interested to see what happens. What will all his followers– those who stood by him throughout the fight against homosexuality– do if it turns out this man is guilty? That’s my question. He’s spent much of his career denouncing homosexuality and he may, very soon, have to admit that he’s a gay man. Given the vastness of his congregation, this could be the beginnings of the abolishment of  the (black) church’s view of homosexuality. Or maybe just make their hatred stronger. I hope it’s (if this is all true) the former. Only time will tell.

hottie soccer player, cristiano ronaldo, gave a priceless reaction to his teammates goodies in this video. oh, the thoughts that must have been running through that boy’s head. his boy-pussy seems to have melted with desire leaving him unable to complete the next rep of his excercise. either that, or he became insecure about his own sweaty goodiebag. i’m sure hitting the showers afterwards had to be very interesting. oh, to be a fly on a wall sometimes…

you have NO IDEA how much i want to be in place of that woman on top of him! seriously. lil’ bow wow done gone and grown up! he used to be this scrawny little kid rapper that garnered nothing but “awwww” from me. and then, all of a sudden, he dropped the “lil,” and unleashed his sexy!

i have a big thing for eyes- especially one’s that lay outside the usual blue, black or brown. his eyes alone warm my little hot pocket. on top of that, he put on some muscle! being a member of the bird-chest gene pool myself, i revel in the beauty and sculpted goodness that he’s got going for himself. it’s also a great reminder of what is possible if i were to really hit the gym like i’m supposed to.

all in all, bow wow is one incredibly orgasmic young man! i don’t know much about his personal anything (although you know i’d love to), but from what i’ve been seeing of him recently, my fantasies have gotten far more exciting… and intense, lol.

good job, jesus!

oh, and notable mention to his probable boyfriend, omarion. it’s his birfday today. not sure what’s going on between those two, but i do have the following picture on my vision board under the reflection of my life- boyfriends!

the movie was released, here in new york, in late october. i wasn’t interested in going to see it (almost at all), however i really wanted to support the movement. after all, i am an individual, building a career in media, whose mission in life is to motivate, help, and inspire all members of the urban gay community to live their lives proudly, and without fear. “noah’s arc: jumping the broom” is a tremendous accomplishment for our community, and should be supported! so when a friend offered to go see it with me, i jumped at the opportunity.

dare i say it… i really liked it!

“jumping the broom” picks up on noah & wade’s romance and impending nuptials on a ferry boat headed to martha’s vineyard. in the first four minutes, serenaded by solange’s “sandcastle disco” (god, i love that song), we are reintroduced to the colorful and flamboyant cast of characters we have grown to love- noah and his questionable wardrobe; ricky and his trick of the day; chance and eddie; alex and his effervescence; and, finally, wade and his glorious sexy! from the jump (no pun intended), it becomes very obvious that we are in for a wild ride.

contrary to what i anticipated when taking my seat, “jumping the broom” is a movie that we all can be proud of! amidst the usual intermediate acting and “hey gur’” dialogue to which we’ve grown accustomed in the series; the movie tackles several issues of black gay love and relationships that, to date, no one else has had the balls to cover. most notable to me were a diatribe from wade on the mental and emotional complexities of being a masculine man falling for a more feminine or flamboyant one; and a well written conversation (also with wade) discussing the labels “top” and “bottom.”

the movie adopts a typical rushed wedding “are we really ready for this” formula; however, the aforementioned topics and adjoining hilarity from the black gay perspective is well worth the ticket cost. i came away from the movie ready to fall in love, a bit wiser about life and relationships, and very proud of my community. noah’s arc: jumping the broom is a hilarious, romantic, and, at times, thought-provoking movie that finally, in my opinion, earns the accolade series creator patrick ian polk has proclaimed from the beginning… groundbreaking!

~erykah badu “i want you”

while i wouldn’t call what i’m feeling love, these words certainly reflect the desire i have for someone in my life. about 2 years ago i met a guy. he was sexy, fun and charismatic, and i fell for him. hard! in retrospect, i believe i fell so quickly because he felt like a boyfriend. i’ve never had one before, and he was the first in my life to ever treat me as such. like a couple who’d been together for years, we spent most of our evenings at home cooking, watching movies and listening to music. although we never had sex, we hooked up on a number of occasions- one of which resulted in the best orgasm i’ve ever had. unfortunately, we remained nothing more than friends.

our relationship has changed in the past year or so, but we still remain connected and, for the most part, pretty close. what hasn’t changed is my desire for him. i go crazy because every time i’m around him this thing that i can’t even explain takes over me- and all i want is to do for him, lie with him, and never leave. i change plans that were previously cemented, engage in conversations i usually ignore, and find myself staring at him uncontrollably and without remorse. i admit that i’m more sexually attracted to him than i am mentally or emotionally- which perhaps may be my problem; and despite my attempts to let him go and put distance between us and my feelings, i keep coming back in the hopes that my feelings and desires will be returned.

have you ever felt this way? felt such intense desire for someone that you did crazy things and conceded in many ways just to be with him and keep him in your life? and for what? i mean, do you really get anything out of it in the end? for as much time, money and energy i’ve put into getting this guy to like and want me like i want him, i can count on one hand the number of times those efforts have garnered any reciprocation. we’ve both agreed that we most certainly wouldn’t work as boyfriends in any way shape or form- we’re just on 2 completely different levels- but that doesn’t stop me from wanting and trying to get him, and from him teasing me with just how sexy and good a lay he is. it’s terribly frustrating and torturous! but something in me must love it, right? ‘cuz it’s incredibly hard to let go.

i just want to be loved… i wish i could find it without having to give so much and reduce myself to so little.

]]> http://www.evolutionofaman.com/2008/11/but-it-wont-let-go/feed/ 0 http://www.evolutionofaman.com/2008/10/i-knew-this-was-coming/ http://www.evolutionofaman.com/2008/10/i-knew-this-was-coming/#comments Tue, 28 Oct 2008 15:29:52 +0000 Will http://www.evolutionofaman.com/?p=574 the success of beyonce’s new song, “single ladies (put a ring on it).” has been tremendous! when i first heard it, i was intrigued, but not impressed. it does kinda sound like “get me bodied”… haven’t we been there already? i guess i was just expecting something different- something just didn’t sit right with me. as a serious beyonce fan, that was hard pill to swallow, and an even harder one to admit to. but ba.by! when i saw that video! i was back to my top stan fan status!

i posted the other day a video of a feverishly gay young man dancing in his bedroom to the track, and despite shaking my head for the following 10 minutes, i gave the dude props… ‘cuz i know i can’t (and won’t publicly) pump to beyonce with such femininity. i just can’t get myself to do it. there was also a tag in the post about the kids [read: young black gay community] working it out for the hood. i actually expected to see that video first. what i didn’t expect to see, however, was the popeyes combo #2 extra crispy that is the following:

*sigh* i’ll say it again… sometimes, i hate being gay.

but bitch, if i had a real camera and some guts….

i’ve been spending many nights inside lately. the reasons why have been varied- don’t want to spend money; it’s getting too cold; don’t feel like playing a game of “catch” with men- i could go on… *sigh* during my evenings of solitude, i’ve been watching a lot of movies, surfing the web, chatting online and walking around the neighborhood; but the best times, recently, have been when i’m in bed- right before going to sleep- and enjoying the pleasures of my aneros companion.

look, there are those of us single dudes who don’t have the time or patience- in today’s struggling economy of decent men- to deal with all this madness. so, we are forced to take measures into our own hands! the aneros (i really need to give mine a name) combines obscenely pleasurable stimulation with the relief of not having to search for the “needle in a haystack” that is a man who’s interested in being with me for more than just trying to get a nut! i’m a really affectionate person, and haven’t yet found anything worthwhile in casual hookups.

the downside, however, is the disappointment that occurs when- in the midst of such extreme pleasure- i look back and yell, “yeah, nigga… fuck that ass!” only to see that there really isn’t anyone back there. *sigh* such is the side effect of self-pleasure.

oh well… i’m still getting mine, though! fuck them ho’s! lol

this has been making it’s way around the blogs lately, and i just couldn’t resist posting it:

…but on the other hand, whoever you are, i give you mad props. ‘cuz i can’t pump to beyonce like that.

and you know (inside) i really wanna!

[sidebar] wait and see what the kids come up with. that’s gon’ be crazy! [/sidebar]

welcome to

created by two very good friends of mine, blaxonomy is a new social networking site specifically for our community that, unlike its counterparts, doesn’t revolve around sex. there’s so much more to us than who and how much we’re fucking, and its about damn time we had an outlet that showcases those talents. we are writers, engineers, dancers, entrepreneurs, leaders and much, much more.

so, for those of you looking for more out of your lgbt online community, look no further… blaxonomy is here! create your profile now, and keep the party movin’!