Evolution of a Mancombining the profound and the inane.

I promise I’ll write something soon…

will on January 18th, 2010

I’m going through a bit of a dry writing spell. I will be back in full effect soon; I promise. Stay with me, y’all. Hahahahaha

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Chocolate Gooey Butter Cookies!

will on January 18th, 2010

When life gets you down, do something you love. It’ll spark you right back up.

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Shits & Giggles

will on November 17th, 2009

There are many people who have a serious problem with using a public restroom. For most it’s a sanitary issue- public potties aren’t the most pristine of environments. For others, as is the case with me, they don’t exactly allow for much privacy, and can make the experience more stressful than it needs to be.

Now, I don’t have a problem per se about using a public toilet; but in doing so, I take many a factor into consideration. I had to laugh at myself recently after departing from a rather amusing trip to the bathroom at work. It all started, as it often does, with that familiar, post-lunch, nudge from my intestines- signaling to my body and my mind that an evacuation was about to take place…whether I wanted it or not.

I walked quickly to the restroom, taking notice of any other males in the vicinity- either going in or coming out. The coast was clear, so I casually sauntered in- so as to give the appearance of a number 1 voyage- but sprinted to the nearest stall once I was inside. Luckily, I had the place to myself…for the moment. I grabbed a seat cover, [sidebar: to all of you clear people who do not use seat covers- who just walk in and sit the fuck down- ewww! Seriously! If it wasn't for my not wanting anyone to know I'm sitting in the stall next to you, I'd be screaming all kinds of "you nasty as hell" at you! Use a damn seat cover!] But I digress. I grabbed a seat cover, placed it on the rim, and sat down.

I won’t go into details about, you know, making mud dolphins, but my stress level skyrocketed when the restroom door opened and in walked several people- chatting it up like they were standing at a water cooler. I was battling a rather, umm, ethnic meal, and so there was serious cause for concern. You have no idea (or maybe you do) about how friggin’ nerve wracking it is to try to hold ish in (literally) and not create an embarrassment of volcanic proportions. Holding on for dear life, sweat dripping down my brow, I thought about the little predicament I was in and I giggled. Thankfully, this didn’t draw any attention- hey probably didn’t hear me over their banter- or release any of the tension I was holding. At one point during their conversation about meetings, travel and the weather, I had to fight myself from screaming “will you just pee and go already?” I sat, rocking and trying my hardest not to explode, waiting for the guys to leave; and as the urinals began to flush I began a countdown. Less than a minute later, they were out the door and I was out of time. I waited for the sound of the door clicking closed and I laughed hysterically returning my lunch to the hell from whence it came.

As weird and uncomfortable as that experience was, I’m still okay with using a public restroom- cuz when you gotta go, you gotta go. But for future reference, note to self: no more ethnic food for lunch.

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Beyonce & Lady Gaga – “Video Phone” Remix

will on November 16th, 2009

Beyonce teams up with the always fresh and exciting Lady Gaga for the remix to her newest single, “Video Phone.” I’m loving the departure from the black and white, and rather subdued nature of the previous video releases for the “I Am” album. She serves up a lot more color, attitude and flare in this one- giving us a bit of old school (”Check Up On It”) Beyonce as well as dishing out something new.

Not sure if Matthew Knowles had anything to do with this, but the “nobody outshines Beyonce” code of conduct memo seems to have been delivered to Gaga as well. In comparison to the artist we see in her videos, and on the red carpet, she was toned down like nobody’s business in this video. [Apparently, Lady Gaga will be doing her own video for "Telephone" so I can't be too mad. KILL IT, GAGA!!] Aside from that (oh, and the almost seizure-inducing flashing), I enjoyed it.

I’m no dancer, but trust… at some point, I will be attempting that roll out of the chair on to the ground move from the dance break. Where’s my wig? Oh, and I LOVED the video heads on the dancers. That was a great touch!

Good job, ladies!

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The New York Post is torturing me with its images!

will on November 16th, 2009

Oh, football player, why do you torture me so?

photo courtesy of The NY Post

This picture was on the front cover of today’s New York Post. I didn’t notice it at first, but when I reached my office and plopped the paper on my desk my eyes went straight to it and I broke out in an inconsolable fit of tears. Accompanied by a headline only Alexyss K. Tylor could do real justice, the player featured assumes a position that was once somewhat familiar to me, but is now nothing more than a distant memory.

I must say, he’s supporting himself quite well- perfect hand placement, and his facial expression looks like he’s ready; although he could get that right leg up a little higher. I’ll give him an “A” for effort, though. *sigh* I’m sad now. It’s been way too long for me. [sings "Memories" by Barbara Streisand]

Oh, and whoever that “Jet” is… he could get it!

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Life is not a competition…there’s room for all of us!

will on November 9th, 2009

So often, amidst all the talk of living our dreams and achieving our goals, we are led to believe that life is a competition. There are so many of us who seem to be racing towards the same finish line that it becomes hard not to think of besting the other racers on the track and leaving them choking on our dust. At the same time, as we look to surpass the dreamers and “haters” around us, we begin to compare their lives and successes to our own- leading some to increase the pace and stride of their step, and others to simply stop running altogether.

I have never been one for much competition. Sure, I may go in and get aggro during a night of bowling or a game of cards, but that’s all in good fun. In life, particularly when it comes to the daily grind of reaching for the stars of my dreams, I’m definitely more reserved and quiet. Instead of adopting a war mentality, as many seem to do, I tend to compare myself to to those around me; and in doing so, I lose steam. I’ll be the first to admit that this is a fault of mine- and one that I’m constantly working on- but I’d be lying if I said that watching some of the talented people in my heat (keeping with the race metaphor) take off, increase speed and pull ahead of me doesn’t make me want to stop running, grab the water boy, and hit the showers. In my head there’s been little point to continuing on.

What’s dawned on me recently, and has begun to change my thinking and perception of the undertaking that is my hopeful journey to international success, is the fact and the knowledge that I am a valuable and talented being in my own right and in my own way; and that greatness can not only apply, but also call to many people the world over. There are billions of people on this planet- each with different tastes, lives, backgrounds, thought patterns, likes, dislikes and interests.  Who’s to say that thousands if not millions of them won’t connect with me being me, saying what I have and want to say, the way I was born to say it? Because of this, I’m realizing there is no need for competition…there is room for all of us. An example that just popped into my head is Kelly Rowland. Sure, she may not have the same type of talent and fame that her former bandmate Beyonce has in the United States, but that chick is a force to be reckoned with in Europe. You think she’s counting her “When Love Takes Over” coins wallowing in a pool of tears over why she’s not #1 over here? Doubtful.

We are all spectacular. We will all shine. There is no race against time or another human being- for we are all opening doors and paving the path for each other to move ahead into the spotlight of our own dreams. We don’t all want the exact same thing, so there’s no use in pretending or forcing ourselves into believeing that we have the same destination. You can do you, I can do me, and we can both get what we want. It’s a good thing, too; cuz I’m tired of running.

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WTF Moment Of The Day

will on November 2nd, 2009

I’m still scratchin’ my head about this one, but as I was logging some quality couch/tv time this evening, my trash (that I put out this morning) was re-delivered to my doorstep…

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A Few Thoughts On Tyler Perry

will on October 26th, 2009

Last night “60 Minutes” aired an segment on Tyler Perry and his success to date in the film industry. It was an interview I happened to catch by chance, but found myself recording and re-watching several times before I’d finally gone to bed. Say what you will-o-may about his work, but Tyler Perry is a force to be reckoned with in the world of entertainment. In the last 5 years alone, he has grossed millions with his many “Madea” movies and subsequent television spin-offs. He has built his empire on the foundation of relating to African Americans (specifically women) in a way that Hollywood has heretofore blatantly ignored. While I may not be the biggest Tyler Perry movie fan, I am a big fan of Tyler Perry; and as an aspiring entertainment mogul myself, I consider him to be one of my greatest role models. What enthralled me so about this particular interview- as short as it may have been- was listening to Tyler address what many African Americans (including myself) have often said about his work. As an example, Perry was read a quote recently given by Spike Lee:

“I think there’s a lot of stuff out today that is coonery and buffoonery. I see ads for ‘Meet the Browns’ and ‘House of Payne’ and I’m scratchin’ my head. We got a Black President and we’re going back. The image is troubling and it hearkens back to ‘Amos & Andy.’”

I, admittedly, have held this same opinion for a while. I commend Perry for his success and I have gone and supported a few Madea movies in the past, but I’ve struggled desperately to make it through to the end of any of them given their overwhelming stereotypical nature. It’s not that I don’t find Madea & Co. entertaining- they can be downright hilariously foolish at times- but, seriously, for the most part, that’s all we ever are when it comes to black faces on the silver screen. When you go to see a “Black film,” nine times out of ten you expect to laugh your ass off and gag at the many “it’s funny cuz it’s true” stereotypes that parade around on screen. It is for this reason that many Black Americans do not support Perry’s movies. In the interview, Tyler replied to Spike Lee’s comment, and I’m assuming the voice of the opposition in general, by saying:

“Let me tell you what Madea, Brown… all these characters are are bait. Disarming, charming, make-you laugh bait. So, I can slap Madea in something and talk about God, love, faith, forgiveness, family…any of those things. That pisses me off…it really does…because it’s attitudes like that that make Hollywood think that these people do not exist; and that’s why there’s no material speaking to them, speaking to us.”

When I heard him say that I had to let my guard down a little bit (not all the way, though). Both Spike and Tyler make very good points. With Tyler’s response, I thought about baby steps and bridges. One thing Perry does well in his movies is combine the slap-stick nature of his Madea character with an inspiring message of love, family, and believing in God- even if he does have to pull in Cicely Tyson and Maya Angelou to do so. He is, or is at least attempting to bridge the gap between buffoonery and maturity. We have to crawl before we can walk; and while yes, most of us are trying to hurry up and run over to the land of mature Black cinema, Hollywood doesn’t yet recognize that we can be serious and still relevant on our own. They are still blind to the many faces of Black America and so are increasingly hesitant to push the envelope. It’s going to take a lot of work to accomplish that. Luckily, it seems that Perry has been thinking ahead, as the highly anticipated movie “Precious-” complete with a star-studded cast and a powerful modern take on the Black experience- is about to hit theaters next month. The movie, executive produced by Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey, has already garnered rave reviews, and could quite feasibly open the door for many other mature-natured Black films to be featured in Hollywood.

I greatly appreciate Tyler for what he has done and is continuing to accomplish in the areas of Black film and television. He has taken very large steps in opening doors for our community of entertainers and for the race at large. With “Precious” on the horizon, and his very own 31-acre television production studio already in use, I hope that he broadens the scope of the movies he releases. As they say, “With great wealth comes great responsibility.” I’m not holding him responsible for the future of Black cinema, but I am acknowledging the opportunity he has to put us on the map, for real! FUBU ain’t got nothin’ on what Tyler Perry could do and represent for Black America. It’s a very exciting time to be Black right about now, and I’m looking forward to seeing what Tyler does next.

Oh, and Mr. Perry: If you’re need a writer, actor, producer, etc.- I’m available!

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Back to work…and finding value

will on October 23rd, 2009

I’m back in the workforce, y’all…and I’m kickin’ some butt!

A few weeks ago I got a call from a temp agency asking if I was interested in interviewing for a “long-term” operations position. I didn’t even have to blink before I said “yes.” I needed a job…bad. I was given the company and position vitals and I faced my interview the next day beaming with pride, determination, and confidence. I had an informative and engaging 20 minute conversation with one of the managers, and I left the office believing the job to be mine. I was offered the position less than 24 hours after my interview. God is good!

I started working a few days later and quickly got back into my corporate mojo. My job is mostly data entry, but there’s also a lot of analysis and troubleshooting involved. I’m really enjoying the work that I get to do, and  it turns out I’m actually good at it. Now three weeks into my 6-month temp assignment, I’m surprising myself, and my co-workers, at almost every turn with the efficiency and quality of my work. I mean, I knew, on some level, that I was good, but I’d never really paid attention to seeing myself in action- I’ve always been content to show up and do what was asked of me…just to collect a check. These days, as the day progresses, I find myself fully present in my work- managing the systems with ease and accurately completing my tasks faster than they can be assigned to me. I’m on a roll and I’m having a blast!

I’m beginning to see that I have value. This may seem perplexing to some- why wouldn’t I know my value- but it hasn’t been so easy for me to believe and understand my worth in the past. I didn’t see it for myself. I think what makes this experience so significant is that I’m taking the time to live in the moment of the task at hand and focus on what I love about the perhaps mundane assignments I receive, and not on the fact that it’s just a job and not my ideal career. I’m discovering that I really love excel, typing, organization and learning new computer programs & systems. Focusing on those things serves as the foundation for enjoying the day’s work, and is what inevitably allows me to succeed. And paying attention to this process, as opposed to just going through the movements and not learning anything from it, is how I’m coming to know and now appreciate my worth. I can actually see myself growing. There’s beginning to be no need for others to try and convince me of my value…I’m seeing it for myself.

Now more than ever I’m understanding the principle of the trusting the process. By taking advantage of every moment of this opportunity and acknowledging, truthfully and for myself, the quality that lies within me, I’m slowly breaking away from being the uncertainty and insecurity that has clouded me these last few years. I’m very much so looking forward to the next few months. Not only for the paydays as I mentioned in my last video blog, but also for more insight into what I’m good at, what drives me to succeed, what makes me happy, and what will propel me forward. I’m growing exponentially and am being prepared for something tremendous and astonishing.  I can feel it; and I can’t wait!

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Oh, how dreadful!

will on October 19th, 2009

There are many things in life about which I often worry: Will I ever find love? What is my purpose? Why does the smell of gasoline turn me on so? Yes, these are questions that keep my mind quite occupied throughout the day; but as we all know, life likes to throw us curve balls every now and then…just to spice things up. One such query from the house of unexpected is the question I have today…

What do I do when my toenail comes off?

A few months ago, with the help of a friend, I was moving furniture around my apartment. As we were relocating a medium-sized storage unit, I stubbed my big toe, left foot, on the bottom of the wooden paneling. There was blood, and there was pain; but after a few days, that all subsided. I took the proper precautions of at home medical care- rinsing it with water, applying alcohol and ointment, and covering it with a band-aid- and thought it best to let the toe heal on its own. After a week or so the toenail started to change in color and eventually lost its former glossy pink beauty- completely dashing my hopes of being crowned Miss 2009 World’s Prettiest Feet. I cried myself to sleep for a few nights- settling into the reality that I would be, once again, bested in competition by the great Dwight Eubanks- but I somehow found the strength to carry on (there’s still the hand competition).

The other day, while going about my usual morning ritual of singing, dancing and dressing for work, I felt the unmistakable tear of tissue as I stepped into my shoe. I knew it was over. Any hopes of future competition…gone. I removed my sock and was introduced to a big toe almost completely abandoned of toenail. I could just see Dwight shaking his head… “oh, how dreadful,” I knew he would say when heard the story! The toenail is not completely severed, however I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before I end up shaking it out of my sock, or wake up to find my cat shuffling it around the room like a new toy.

I’m know I’m not the first to have had this issue, so I, once again, pose this unexpected and certainly unintended question to all you people out there in cyberspace. What do you do when your toenail comes off?

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