Archive for the ‘Spending Time With God’ Category
will on November 26th, 2009
When I woke up this morning, I had no idea how I was going to celebrate Thanksgiving. I had 4 open invitations to dinner, but I was indecisive about where I actually wanted to go. I sat on my couch watching the parade wondering if that was all I’d end up doing today. Then I took a shower and my day suddenly came alive. While lathering up- gettin’ so fresh and clean- something inside me said, “Wait…don’t you love to cook? Isn’t this one of your favorite holidays because of the food? Why aren’t you cooking?” I thought to myself, “YEAH” as I rinsed off. Cooking is one of my favorite pastimes. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be standing over a pot dishing up my favorites for dinner. I immediately went right into action- creating a menu of my favorite things and hittin’ the grocery store. And then, I started cooking my ass off!
I made Cornish hens stuffed with wild rice & sausage, candied yams, greens, ham, cornbread, and sweet potato pie. I went in; and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I really love cooking, and it was very nice to spend those few hours in the kitchen connecting with a passion while thanking God for all he has done for me. I invited over a couple friends who otherwise wouldn’t have really had a Thanksgiving dinner and we feasted abundantly. The greens came out a little salty (twas my first attempt at making them), but everything was still really good- at least to my taste.
I have so much to be thankful for this year. For starters, I have my life and my health. The past week has been rough after having a slight medical episode last Friday; and it only made me realize how precious life is and how we should cherish and maintain our health and each moment we are given. I’ve vowed to start taking better care of myself- exercising more, eating better, and watching what and how much I put into my body.
Additionally, I’m surrounded by family and friends whom I love and who love me; and for that I am truly grateful. Somtimes we forget about the love that surrounds us. We all have people in our lives who care about us and love us to death. I, for one, am going to make a better effort to show my appreciation for those people on a more regular basis.
Finally, I am grateful and thankful for all that I do have and all that I am. I may not be who or were I want to be, but I am constantly growing and am leaps and bounds past who and where I once was. It’s only by the grace of God that I’m allowed to lead such a joyful life- even though I may not always view it as such- and I am so thankful for all he has given and offered me. I really do live a great life. It’s high time I start recognizing that for real.
As I begin to look to 2010 I’m really pinpointing the things that I want to work on and accomplish. I want to be more patient and live for the journey as opposed to the destination. Much of 2009 was lost for me out of my concentrating on and complaining about where I wanted to be instead of appreciating the process of getting there. I also want to start acknowledging myself more- stop puttin’ myself down so much and start giving myself credit for all that I accomplish, small and tremendous. I also want to foster better relationships with my family and friends. I don’t get along very well with my family. I’ve secluded myself from them because I’ve always felt uncomfortable around them. I’m hoping to change that.
All of this will take work. Hard work. I’m a stubborn individual, who lives an incredibly structured life; and it’s gonna take a lot for me to relax, stop taking life so seriously and enjoy the journey, while pushing myself out of my comfort zone to create the life of my dreams. I’m dedicated to not live in my 30’s as I did my 20’s. I’m thankful for the clarity this year has brought me, and I’m looking forward to the challenge that lies ahead. I realize now that it’s up to me to make this growth happen. Not anyone else.
I hope you all had an enjoyable turkey day and will take the time to reflect and be thankful for all that you have and all that you are. Lots of love, hugs and kisses to you! Happy Thanksgiving! 
will on November 10th, 2009
Usually on Tuesday nights you can find me at a Starbucks somewhere in Midtown attending Touch and Agree- my weekly prayer meeting. However, after an unsettling discussion at the meeting two weeks ago, I’ve decided to take a little break.
The topic that arose that week revolved around who, in the end, will gain entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven. One of the members of the group was explaining a book she was reading in which the author references the Torah, the Koran, and the Bible in an effort to accurately trace, back to Abraham, the lineage of the Muslim, Jewish, and Christian religions. As I sat and listened to her description of the book, a question began to surface in my mind: “What happens to those who don’t believe in the teachings of the Bible when they pass on?” I posed this question to the group and was met with a variety of different answers- which then sparked a rather interesting discussion.
At first, when I offered the example of someone living outside of a modern civilization who has never heard of Jesus before, I was told that in their case, Jesus would simply look at what’s in their heart when deciding whether they should be let into the Kingdom. Fair enough. I pushed a little further and asked about those who made up other religions- Jews, Muslims, etc.- as well as those people who have no religion, but are more spiritual- Buddhists and Yogi’s. This is where things got heated. We talked about what these other religions believe that is in opposition to the Christian belief that Jesus died on the cross and is the risen Messiah. Everyone at the table was very adamant about Christianity- or the belief that Jesus is the risen Messiah- being the only way to gain eternal life. The Bible was quoted as saying (and I’m paraphrasing for I am not well versed in scripture), that the word of God will reach the 4 corners of the earth; every man will make a choice, and those who do not accept that belief will not be allowed passage. One girl went as far as saying, “I know with complete certainty that if you don’t believe then you will not be allowed into the Kindgom.” This is where I just shut down!
Excuse me? You know with complete certainty? I don’t think so. Yes, you may believe with complete certainty, but there’s no way you could possibly know for a fact who will and will not gain entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven. I was so floored by that statement, and over the conversation as a whole, that I just sat there in silence. I didn’t reply- especially as I was the only one at the table who seemed to disagree. But that comment, and the subsequent backing from the rest of the group, took me back to why I stopped going to church and became spiritual over religious in the first place. There is nothing wrong with believing the teachings of the Bible and leading your life accordingly; but I take serious issue with a number of Christians who shut out and condemn any person or thinking that differs from what they “know” as truth. This girl, and what felt like everyone else at that table, was ready to send countless people straight to hell for not believing what she believes- just because of what the book that sat in front of her said. Suppose she wasn’t a Christian. Suppose she grew up as a Jew reading the Torah. She would have no idea about the teachings of Christ, and would have a completely different set of values and beliefs. Would she then believe that she was going to hell? Not at all.
I brought up my recent foray into Orpah’s Spiritual podcast channel, which drew more of the same type of commentary. Most threw out the whole idea of general Spirituality saying, “no…you can’t just wrap everything together and call it the Universe- someone’s in control. He has a name, and you should respect that and call him by his name… it’s God.” Eckhart Tolle’s book, “A New Earth”- a book from which I’ve gained a great deal of insight- was brought up in the discussion, and someone mentioned that she advised a friend who was reading it to throw the book out- calling it “the devil’s book”- and asking how can you be a Christian and go by something that doesn’t claim God or follow the Bible? By this time I had had enough. We had to break the discussion because the diner we were in was closing, and as we scooted out to find another location, I took the opportunity to excuse myself and go home. I haven’t been back to the group since.
I am a believer- let me make that clear. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, was buried, and that he is the risen Messiah. But what I don’t believe is that acknowledging and believing that is the only way to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven and gain eternal life. If God is omnipresent and can commune with us in many different ways, then why can’t we do the same? I’m not saying that all religions and methods of spirituality are acceptable- I don’t know for sure what is and isn’t valid- but I do think that the road to knowing, believing in, and following God, and eventually getting into the Kingdom, has many lanes and many passages.
will on August 28th, 2009
You gotta start somewhere. I’ve been meaning to dive into Bible study for a few weeks now, but have just felt so overwhelmed. Where do I begin? What do I read? How do I internalize it? Will it really help? These are just a few of the questions that I have been battling with when it comes to spending time with You and reading your word. To be honest, I know and believe that You can help me- but at the same time, I don’t feel it. Does that make sense? Really, these days I feel nothing; nothing but self-pity and doubt. I’ve been so consumed by it that I’ve almost given up on myself, and found no desire or reason to start reading. I’ve been so very uninterested…in everything!
After Tuesday’s “Touch & Agree,” Rhonda sat with me for over an hour listening to what I had to say, ministering to me, and reading scriptures with me. She even prayed the prayer of salvation with me- just to make sure I was saved. And I am…but I still struggle! She suggested that I get in the word and start small- take a few verses a day, read them over and over to get them in my spirit, write them down and post them on my walls. I thought it a good idea and, feeling so good after our conversation, had every intention of following her suggestion; but I did nothing. I bailed. Sure, I thought about readng scripture and studying on numerous occassions Wednesday and Thursday; but there was still a big part of me that said, “Why?” and “I don’t wanna!” Also, stuck in my head worrying about all the problems and issues I’m facing, I stayed lazy and sad claiming the excuse, “I don’t know where to start.” So I didn’t. Today I forced myself to start studying the Bible and really spending time with God. As of late, I’ve heard many people either cite or talk about Jeremiah 29:11, so I decided to begin there. It says:
“I know what I am doing. I have planned it all out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”
That was The Message translation. Rhonda suggested reading the New King James Version, the New International Version (NIV), and The Message. I was raised onte traditional King James Version, and like it did when I was younger, it has confused me to no end as I’ve tried reading it recently. But reading the aforementioned translations made Your word so much clearer and understandable to me. I’m definitely a big fan of The Message translation! After reading verse 11 I continued on to verses 12-14, which spoke to me even more:
“When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking fr me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed…”
The NIV says (about getting serious) “When you seen me with all your heart…” I must admit, Lord, that I’m struggling with that part. I can’t yet identify with seeking You with all my heart; but I can say that I am seeking you with all that I can muster up right now- whatever that is. I want to seek You and your word with all my heart, but I’d be wrong not to admit that at this particular moment, I seek You in a reaching, arms wide open, crying attempt to find peace, help, and direction within my storm. My heart is open and I hope and believe that as I continue to read, learn, and in You and be filled by You- as we become more intimate with each other- my heart’s desire for You will expand. I consider myself to have rain my first baby step today towards seeking You and learning your word.
I’ve been asked how can I pray in faith and stand, believing in your word if I don’t know what’s in it? When I pray, I want and need to be able to call upon your word to help me with the circumstances of my life. And even more, I want to truly understand what it means to praise and bless Your name… I want to know you, Lord, so I can better praise you.
I thank You for opening this door and I pray fr your patience with me as I start this journey. I know you’re always with me, Lord- imma need your direction knowing what and how to study next. But for now, I’ll stay meditated on Jeremiah 29:11-14. Thank you!
Lord, teach me how to go beyond just getting by. In Jesus name I pray. AMEN!
will on July 30th, 2009
Last week a new friend of mine invited me to check out an inspirational support group he participates in called “Touch and Agree.” He didn’t say much about the group outside of how they meet on Tuesdays and how he always leaves feeling uplifted and inspired; but being familiar with the meaning behind the title, I knew it had something to do with spirituality. Recently my prayers have been centered around finding direction within my own life, meeting new people and making new friends; so from the moment the invitation reached my ears, I knew God was trying to tell me something. Without a second thought I said “yes,” and though I had no idea what I was getting myself into, I literally couldn’t wait for Tuesday night to come.
I walked into an 8th avenue Starbucks on Tuesday feeling anxious and nervous- a common resounding sensation I encounter when stepping into a new experience- but overall, I was tremendously excited. I walked up the wooden staircase to the second floor of the coffee shop and found a group of about 15-20 young adults sitting in a large circle around small tables engaged in intimate conversation. There was a peaceful yet animated presence around the group- one you couldn’t help but be drawn to. Almost immediately, my nerves were calmed and my interested peaked beyond comparrison. I took a seat at one end of the circle, passing and low-fiving my friend on the way, and leaned in to hear what the others sat so attentively to take in. Someone was sharing a testimony he had from the past week to intermittent cheers of “Hallelujah” and “Thank you, Jesus!” and for the first time in my life, this public display of religion didn’t make me uncomfortable. I usually have a very difficult time praising the Lord outside of church, and have never felt at ease doing so amongst other Christians in my age group. I suppose my relationship with God has just not yet gotten to the point of outward worship despite my surroundings. It didn’t take me long at all to realize that this group would change my thoughts around studying, and being supported by the word of God.
As the meeting continued, I sat listening intently to all of the testimonies and words of encouragement. I was thoroughly wrapped up in every minute. It was like my soul was filling itself up on every succulent morsel of conversation. I’ve been struggling so much lately trying to figure out my path and direction in life, and the passion with which these young people spoke about God’s work in their lives really touched me. I heard of the miracles and blessings that were taking place and all I could think was, “how can I get some of that? where do I begin?” The experience was overwhelming, not simply because of the spiritual aspect, but also because of the company itself. Just about everyone there is an artist in some way, shape, or form- singers, dancers, actors, writers, etc.- they are the people I wish myself to be. I’ve always sensed there is something great inside of me just bursting to get out- a talent, skill, purpose. I believe I was created to entertain and inspire others, and I have been praying and praying that God will send people and friends into my life that will help me progress with my goals and dreams. The participants of Touch and Agree are an artistic, supportive bunch who LOVE the Lord and claim their destiny in Jesus’ name. I just couldn’t get enough of hearing what they had to say.
There was much conversation about having faith- building our faith muscle- and staying faithful in the midst of our confusion because God is always there and is in control. That hit me pretty hard. When I was younger my faith was so strong, but recently it’s become incredibly hard to maintain a faithful spirit despite all the confusion and uncertainty that clouds my mind. One of my goals in joining Touch & Agree is to rebuild my faith and gain faith that surpasses all understanding. Another jewel of inspiration came from my friend, Dewayne, who mentioned an enlightening reminder he received about trusting God’s direction. It is important to remember that God has already been to where we are going. As we walk the rocky path of our lives He’s coming in the opposite direction- returning from our destiny. He’s already seen our future- all we need to is trust his word and be obedient. It’s at times so much easier said than done– especially when we’re going through the storm– but we must trust and believe that the Lord knows what he is doing.
Touch & Agree could not have come into my life at a better time. I am so grateful and cannot wait for next week. I need this! I need the encouraging support, the friends, the guidance in the word, and the blessings that follow. Thank you so very much, Lord, for bringing me to Touch & Agree. I pray you continue to make it a blessing upon my life.
