~Iyanla Vanzant

See, journal, this is what I’m talking about. The goals are there and the plan is made, but now it’s game time and I’m choking. This is where things fall apart for me…when it’s time to take action. I made all these beautiful plans last week about how I was gonna write every night, hit the gym regularly, and watch my diet; but what have I done about it? Nothing. I haven’t worked out once this week-deciding to sleep in before work and go home right after. I’ve written not one word so far this week (besides what I’m writing now)-preferring to watch TV or putz around when I get home. And I’ve been eating whatever the hell I want-burgers, fries, donuts, bread. It’s disgusting.

Where’s the discipline, Will? Where’s the sacrifice? That’s my trouble. I know what I want, but I’m not willing to do the work to get it done…because work is not fun.

I used to be disciplined. Not the most disciplined person in the world, but definitely disciplined enough to be able to look at my life and say “I’m good.” Nowadays I look around and there’s nothing but complaining, waiting for someone to step in and help/make it happen for me, and wishing upon a star that I was “there” already. We both know, journal, that that’s not gonna work. I’ll be sitting around waiting and wishing forever.

I’ve got to re-teach myself how to be disciplined. I’ve got to break out of the habits of my daily routine and sacrifice all that unnecessary shit that seems more entertaining or enjoyable. I’ve got to stop allowing any fear of not being good enough or not knowing what I’m doing to get in the way of me actually being productive. Experiement, Will. Make it up as you go along. Damn!

“You’ve gotta do what you have to do, in order to do what you want to do.”

~Denzel Washington

Point. Blank. Period. And there’s A WHOLE LOT that I have to do!

I really need to stop there, journal. Cuz I can feel my fingers itching to type a diatribe of excuses and reasons why this is so hard…further prolonging any amount of productivity or, even, a breakthrough. A good friend of mine today mentioned that the reason I haven’t seen much of him lately is because he’s been grinding. Take a page from his book, dude, and get on your grind. Stop complaining, stop looking around at what others are doing, stop waiting for someone or something to step into your life and fix things/make things happen, and just GET TO WORK. Either that or just shut up all together and stay forever searching…forever unhappy. Your choice, Will.

Springtime always reminds me of this scene from “Bambi,” when Bambi, Thumper, and Flower learn about meeting someone special and becoming Twitterpated. The weather turns and, suddenly, everyone falls in love. This happens every year…thousands of couples meet, become enamored with each other, and go gallivanting around town in their new-found love.  For once, I would love to be in one of those couples.

The weather really broke this week in NYC, sending us into 70 and even 80 degree weather. Nothin’ like the sun heating things up to get you all hot and bothered for some luvin’ and romancin’. People are already going in. Take these two for example…

I came across this Twitterpated couple the other day. They were sitting in the park, laughing, cuddling, and sharing an ice cream on a particularly beautiful afternoon. I got caught up in an “aww” moment watching them, and had to take a picture.

Love is definitely in the air, and I’m ready to go find it for myself!

My life, recently, hasn’t been working very well. I can’t complain too much, ‘cuz at the end of the day [insert Fantasia wail] I’M HERE! However, we’re now in the second quarter of 2012, and I don’t have anything to show for the year so far…or at least nothing worth hitting my dougie for. Walking through Manhattan last week, after a particularly difficult day, I pondered my life and realized that I haven’t made any plans for what I’d like to accomplish this year. Sure, I’ve set goals (lose weight, make money, have sex), but the thought that I’ve made no plans at all stopped me dead in my tracks. “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” An image of my mom side-eyeing me to death burned painfully in my head, a chastising I-told-you-so via satalite from Los Angeles. I can only liken it to the pain Harry Potter must feel when he shares a thought or vision with Voldemort. It hurts.

I had no option but to sit my ass down, think about my goals, and make a plan…

I decided to work on a quarterly basis, as opposed to planning for the entire year. That’s just too overwhelming for me right now. Q2 is from April – June…3 months. Plenty of time to make some moves and get an accomplishment or two under my belt.

Here are my goals, with a piece of my action plan, for the remainder of this quarter.

Goal 1: Find a new job…in line with my career
There is a BIG difference between a job and a career. Right now I have a job. I’m grateful for it, but it’s not what I want to do. I recently bucked up enough to admit to myself, as I mentioned in my last post, that I want to write books and screenplays, and create and produce TV, film, blog and video content- focusing on the LGBT community. My first goal is to find an entry/mid-level position on the business/office production side of the entertainment industry. The job I’ve got my eye on is the position of Production Coordinator. My skill set and experience match the job requirements on a basic level, and my drive, intellect and career aspirations will certainly cover me the rest of the way. It think it’s a great starting point to entering and learning the business, from the inside.

The Plan:
Revise resume and write cover letter
Submit resume to 3-5 employers
Contact temp agencies to ascertain potential opportunities.
Attend one industry networking event.

Goal 2: Hit The Gym
I began the “Fat-Fetus Begone Challenge” a good 6 months ago. My fat-fetus not only still exists, but it’s now mocking me. Whenever I peep myself in a mirror, my fat-fetus looks up, shakes its head, and goes back to filing its nails. It senses no danger whatsoever! It thinks it’s safe because since I have not been going to the gym on any kind of regular basis, and I’ve been eating EVERYTHING in sight. But I got some news for you fat-fetus…playtime is over!

The goal here is simple…go to the gym at least 3 days a week, and lose at least 3-5% of my body fat. I don’t want to be focused on a weight number, especially since I can turn fat into muscle and still weigh the same amount. So, looking toward my body fat percentage seems like the best barometer for success. I said 3-5% as a start, because I don’t know how easy it is to change that number. Right now, I’m at 25% (damn, I let myself go). I’d LOVE to be at 15 or lower before year-end.

The Plan:
3-day a week workout (Monday, Wednesday, Friday)
Tuesday & Thursday cardio days (for extra credit)
Decrease sugar, carb and alcohol intake
No food after 9pm, 1 glass of wine max on weeknights, more fruit & veggies

Goal 3: Maintain “Evolution Of A Man”
This blog is very important to me. It may not have seemed that way considering the lack of posting that’s been going on in the last year or so, but I LOVE this blog. I just got so caught up in trying to create a name/brand for myself (and failing, btw) that I let that usurp the fact that I just wanted to write. I focused more on writing what I thought I “should” write to get people’s attention, than staying in line with why I created this blog in the first place…to write about the stuff that’s interesting to ME. I had a bit of an epiphany earlier: the most important thing is that I write what I want to write, and trust that those who need and would be interested in my blog/writing will find this site. Period. The goal here is simple. Write (at least) three posts a week, and keep the blog going…don’t stop!

The Plan:
Download a journal-type app for my phone.
As ideas come to my head, write them in the app – develop a queue of topics to write about on the blog
Spend at least 1 hour a night writing (actual blog posts or drafts).
Upload 3 posts to the blog a week.

That’s it. That is what I have to do. Now it’s time for me to PLAN MY WORK AND WORK MY PLAN! Take some damn action, Will! Don’t let mama have to hit you with that side-eye burn again. Put your nose to the grindstone, get to work, and hit her with that dougie when you get it all done!

Watch me work!

]]> http://www.evolutionofaman.com/2012/04/plan-your-work-work-your-plan/feed/ 0 http://www.evolutionofaman.com/2012/04/grateful-sunday/ http://www.evolutionofaman.com/2012/04/grateful-sunday/#comments Sun, 15 Apr 2012 23:04:03 +0000 Will http://www.evolutionofaman.com/?p=2409 They say that one of the most powerful ways to attract great & positive things into your life is to acknowledge and show your appreciation for the people and things that are currently in your life. Instead of focussing on what’s not working, focus on what is…focus on what’s great.

I try to make it a point to, every night, write down in my journal what I’m grateful for. I’d like to start something here with the same thought and intention in mind. So, from here on out, every Sunday will be “Grateful Sunday!”

What I am grateful for:

Carnal Dish’s Turkey Burger Recipe:
I usually stay away from turkey burgers because the ones I’ve tasted have tended to be dry and flavor-less. This burger, however, made. my. weekend! I feel like I owe Resha my first born now, cuz…damn! Just do yourself a favor and try this burger!

A Quick Work Week:
This past work week went by really quickly. Being that I have a job that I like but am not particularly passionate about and don’t find fulfilling, I’m grateful for when the work day goes by quickly. This was such a week, and so…HUZZAH!

Good Advice from some Great Friends:
Today and Thursday I got some unexpected advice that I feel and believe has changed my outlook on the way in which I view myself and my life. The  take-away  was that I need to be more assertive in my interactions with others, and I need to recognize that what I want–what I’ve been praying for–is sitting right in front of me, looking in my face, just waiting for me to take action. Despite it being wrapped up in a package different than what I expected, it’s there. All I have to do is take action. Two friends of mine really drilled that into my head this week. And for that, I am grateful.

What I am looking forward to in the coming week:

Moving Forward:
For the first time in a long time I am able to pinpoint what it is I want and, albeit apprehensively, acknowledge what I want to do. I want to write (blogs, scripts, and novels), and I want to produce and create (tv and film). There’s still a bit of “are you sure?” straddling the line between idea and taking action in my brain, but it’s better than not at all having a clue as to what I want out of the life that I’ve been given. This is where faith comes into play. I was reminded today that faith without works is dead; and so, now (as scared and uncertain as I may be), I look forward to stepping up to the plate this week and at least outlining what I need to do to get what I want out of and for my life.

I believe that I’m on the cusp of greatness, standing on a tremendous opportunity. I’ve prayed enough…God knows what I want and where He wants to take me. It really is up to me, at this point, to get off my ass and take action. I can either step up to the plate, get to work, and go for mine; or continue to feel sorry for myself and wait for something great to happen (which, of course, may never come). Hmmm…I think Imma go with the former.

So, that’s what I’m grateful for. What are you grateful for today?

I’m. Starting. Over.

Yep, that sums it up quite succinctly.

My ego, of course, is pissed; because I’ve just deleted the 600+ entries–dating all the way back to 2004–that previously made up this blog. That bitch loves attention, and now it looks like he just today decided to jump on the blogging bandwagon. But that’s exactly why I’m making this move. I’m going back to the time when I actually wanted to write, and looked forward to writing and posting. Before it became about what I could say or discuss that would get people to notice me…to make me popular. That is not why I created this site, nor is it my intention moving forward. I started “Evolution Of A Man” because I needed an outlet, and I just wanted to write. I felt like I had something to say, and I wanted to share my life and experiences with anyone who was interested in and/or could could gain from my being so personal and transparent. This is, first and foremost, a journal. It is to this innocent and uncalculated place that I must return.

Gone are the days of writing from some place other than my heart- eager to tweet or Facebook a link so that I can get my numbers up and gain “followers.” I won’t be linking any posts that I write for quite some time. If one person finds his or her way here and spreads the word, then HUZZAH; but other than that, this blog is on its own. My ego can pout in the corner and flick sunflower seeds at my head all he wants (I could have sworn I threw those away); but I know this is the best thing for both of us.