Evolution of a Mancombining the profound and the inane.

WTF Moment Of The Day

will on November 2nd, 2009

I’m still scratchin’ my head about this one, but as I was logging some quality couch/tv time this evening, my trash (that I put out this morning) was re-delivered to my doorstep…

Tags: garbage, trash, trash redelivered, trashbag
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A Few Thoughts On Tyler Perry

will on October 26th, 2009

Last night “60 Minutes” aired an segment on Tyler Perry and his success to date in the film industry. It was an interview I happened to catch by chance, but found myself recording and re-watching several times before I’d finally gone to bed. Say what you will-o-may about his work, but Tyler Perry is a force to be reckoned with in the world of entertainment. In the last 5 years alone, he has grossed millions with his many “Madea” movies and subsequent television spin-offs. He has built his empire on the foundation of relating to African Americans (specifically women) in a way that Hollywood has heretofore blatantly ignored. While I may not be the biggest Tyler Perry movie fan, I am a big fan of Tyler Perry; and as an aspiring entertainment mogul myself, I consider him to be one of my greatest role models. What enthralled me so about this particular interview- as short as it may have been- was listening to Tyler address what many African Americans (including myself) have often said about his work. As an example, Perry was read a quote recently given by Spike Lee:

“I think there’s a lot of stuff out today that is coonery and buffoonery. I see ads for ‘Meet the Browns’ and ‘House of Payne’ and I’m scratchin’ my head. We got a Black President and we’re going back. The image is troubling and it hearkens back to ‘Amos & Andy.’”

I, admittedly, have held this same opinion for a while. I commend Perry for his success and I have gone and supported a few Madea movies in the past, but I’ve struggled desperately to make it through to the end of any of them given their overwhelming stereotypical nature. It’s not that I don’t find Madea & Co. entertaining- they can be downright hilariously foolish at times- but, seriously, for the most part, that’s all we ever are when it comes to black faces on the silver screen. When you go to see a “Black film,” nine times out of ten you expect to laugh your ass off and gag at the many “it’s funny cuz it’s true” stereotypes that parade around on screen. It is for this reason that many Black Americans do not support Perry’s movies. In the interview, Tyler replied to Spike Lee’s comment, and I’m assuming the voice of the opposition in general, by saying:

“Let me tell you what Madea, Brown… all these characters are are bait. Disarming, charming, make-you laugh bait. So, I can slap Madea in something and talk about God, love, faith, forgiveness, family…any of those things. That pisses me off…it really does…because it’s attitudes like that that make Hollywood think that these people do not exist; and that’s why there’s no material speaking to them, speaking to us.”

When I heard him say that I had to let my guard down a little bit (not all the way, though). Both Spike and Tyler make very good points. With Tyler’s response, I thought about baby steps and bridges. One thing Perry does well in his movies is combine the slap-stick nature of his Madea character with an inspiring message of love, family, and believing in God- even if he does have to pull in Cicely Tyson and Maya Angelou to do so. He is, or is at least attempting to bridge the gap between buffoonery and maturity. We have to crawl before we can walk; and while yes, most of us are trying to hurry up and run over to the land of mature Black cinema, Hollywood doesn’t yet recognize that we can be serious and still relevant on our own. They are still blind to the many faces of Black America and so are increasingly hesitant to push the envelope. It’s going to take a lot of work to accomplish that. Luckily, it seems that Perry has been thinking ahead, as the highly anticipated movie “Precious-” complete with a star-studded cast and a powerful modern take on the Black experience- is about to hit theaters next month. The movie, executive produced by Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey, has already garnered rave reviews, and could quite feasibly open the door for many other mature-natured Black films to be featured in Hollywood.

I greatly appreciate Tyler for what he has done and is continuing to accomplish in the areas of Black film and television. He has taken very large steps in opening doors for our community of entertainers and for the race at large. With “Precious” on the horizon, and his very own 31-acre television production studio already in use, I hope that he broadens the scope of the movies he releases. As they say, “With great wealth comes great responsibility.” I’m not holding him responsible for the future of Black cinema, but I am acknowledging the opportunity he has to put us on the map, for real! FUBU ain’t got nothin’ on what Tyler Perry could do and represent for Black America. It’s a very exciting time to be Black right about now, and I’m looking forward to seeing what Tyler does next.

Oh, and Mr. Perry: If you’re need a writer, actor, producer, etc.- I’m available!

Tags: madea, oprah winfrey, precious, precious movie, tyler perry, tyler perry 60 minutes
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Back to work…and finding value

will on October 23rd, 2009

I’m back in the workforce, y’all…and I’m kickin’ some butt!

A few weeks ago I got a call from a temp agency asking if I was interested in interviewing for a “long-term” operations position. I didn’t even have to blink before I said “yes.” I needed a job…bad. I was given the company and position vitals and I faced my interview the next day beaming with pride, determination, and confidence. I had an informative and engaging 20 minute conversation with one of the managers, and I left the office believing the job to be mine. I was offered the position less than 24 hours after my interview. God is good!

I started working a few days later and quickly got back into my corporate mojo. My job is mostly data entry, but there’s also a lot of analysis and troubleshooting involved. I’m really enjoying the work that I get to do, and  it turns out I’m actually good at it. Now three weeks into my 6-month temp assignment, I’m surprising myself, and my co-workers, at almost every turn with the efficiency and quality of my work. I mean, I knew, on some level, that I was good, but I’d never really paid attention to seeing myself in action- I’ve always been content to show up and do what was asked of me…just to collect a check. These days, as the day progresses, I find myself fully present in my work- managing the systems with ease and accurately completing my tasks faster than they can be assigned to me. I’m on a roll and I’m having a blast!

I’m beginning to see that I have value. This may seem perplexing to some- why wouldn’t I know my value- but it hasn’t been so easy for me to believe and understand my worth in the past. I didn’t see it for myself. I think what makes this experience so significant is that I’m taking the time to live in the moment of the task at hand and focus on what I love about the perhaps mundane assignments I receive, and not on the fact that it’s just a job and not my ideal career. I’m discovering that I really love excel, typing, organization and learning new computer programs & systems. Focusing on those things serves as the foundation for enjoying the day’s work, and is what inevitably allows me to succeed. And paying attention to this process, as opposed to just going through the movements and not learning anything from it, is how I’m coming to know and now appreciate my worth. I can actually see myself growing. There’s beginning to be no need for others to try and convince me of my value…I’m seeing it for myself.

Now more than ever I’m understanding the principle of the trusting the process. By taking advantage of every moment of this opportunity and acknowledging, truthfully and for myself, the quality that lies within me, I’m slowly breaking away from being the uncertainty and insecurity that has clouded me these last few years. I’m very much so looking forward to the next few months. Not only for the paydays as I mentioned in my last video blog, but also for more insight into what I’m good at, what drives me to succeed, what makes me happy, and what will propel me forward. I’m growing exponentially and am being prepared for something tremendous and astonishing.  I can feel it; and I can’t wait!

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Payday!

will on October 22nd, 2009

I got my first paycheck from my new job today; and I’m really excited about utilizing the budgeting skills I’ve adopted in the last year of being unemployed. I had to share.

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Oh, how dreadful!

will on October 19th, 2009

There are many things in life about which I often worry: Will I ever find love? What is my purpose? Why does the smell of gasoline turn me on so? Yes, these are questions that keep my mind quite occupied throughout the day; but as we all know, life likes to throw us curve balls every now and then…just to spice things up. One such query from the house of unexpected is the question I have today…

What do I do when my toenail comes off?

A few months ago, with the help of a friend, I was moving furniture around my apartment. As we were relocating a medium-sized storage unit, I stubbed my big toe, left foot, on the bottom of the wooden paneling. There was blood, and there was pain; but after a few days, that all subsided. I took the proper precautions of at home medical care- rinsing it with water, applying alcohol and ointment, and covering it with a band-aid- and thought it best to let the toe heal on its own. After a week or so the toenail started to change in color and eventually lost its former glossy pink beauty- completely dashing my hopes of being crowned Miss 2009 World’s Prettiest Feet. I cried myself to sleep for a few nights- settling into the reality that I would be, once again, bested in competition by the great Dwight Eubanks- but I somehow found the strength to carry on (there’s still the hand competition).

The other day, while going about my usual morning ritual of singing, dancing and dressing for work, I felt the unmistakable tear of tissue as I stepped into my shoe. I knew it was over. Any hopes of future competition…gone. I removed my sock and was introduced to a big toe almost completely abandoned of toenail. I could just see Dwight shaking his head… “oh, how dreadful,” I knew he would say when heard the story! The toenail is not completely severed, however I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before I end up shaking it out of my sock, or wake up to find my cat shuffling it around the room like a new toy.

I’m know I’m not the first to have had this issue, so I, once again, pose this unexpected and certainly unintended question to all you people out there in cyberspace. What do you do when your toenail comes off?

Tags: dwight eubanks, health question, pretty feet, toenail
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Sick

will on October 17th, 2009

The sudden turn in the weather has wreaked havoc on my body. Currently sittin’ on a mountain of snot-soaked tissues as Robitussin and Chicken Noodle Soup course through my system. This too shall pass.

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Hard Work & Determination

will on October 15th, 2009

Anyone who has ever reached a significant level of success will tell you that it didn’t come without an great deal of hard work and determination. I myself have worked hard to achieve the successes of my life thus far; although I feel like things have generally come to me easier than I anticipated. These days, however, the idea of hard work & determination bring with it a challenge that has been far too overwhelming for me to face head on.

After years of stable and steady corporate employment, I am now looking to build a career for myself as an entertainment entrepreneur. What’s problematic about this new venture is that I don’t have a clear picture of what I really want to do with myself in this industry; and as a result, I’ve had trouble getting started. I know whatever I end up doing, I’ll be building this career from the ground up, without a template to base my ideas on. That frightens me. I believe in my heart that I am destined to do brilliant and amazing things- specifically within and for the gay and African American communities to which I belong- but, unlike the path that has led to my previous successes, there is no blueprint, that I’ve discovered, for building an empire of my own. It’s not that I expect things to be handed to me (I’ve never simply been given anything), but I do wish I had some firm ground to stand on and give me a boost. The subtle ease with which things have manifested for me in the past has admittedly made me a bit spoiled. I thought that I could do the same amount of work, be recognized for it, and subsequently catapulted into career-advancing stardom. I was wrong. “Hustle” and “Grind” are words- verbs, really- that have held very little meaning for me since the urban communities in entertainment, social networking, and on the street adopted them to describe the relentless pursuit of dreams fulfilled. As I ponder their usage and meaning in relation to my own pursuit, I see the hilarity of my thinking that I could build my own career so easily. I’m not putting in half of the work and time that hustlers and grinders the world over are giving to their projects; yet I sit here wondering why things haven’t jumped off for me already. Hard work and determination have been re-defined, and I’m behind the curve now, instead of in front of it. It’s time to get to work.

Though the big picture of my career may still be uncertain, what I do have- that I didn’t recognize or give myself credit for in the past- is this here blog and my trusty little video camera. Turns out I do have a template, I just haven’t been applying it…at least not enough to keep up with the other runners on the track. There is nothing overwhelming about writing a blog post or making a video. Look at what B. Scott has created in a matter of just 2 years. That’s “grindin’” right there for ya. What I need to do is adopt the grind for myself and trust that what I need will be revealed to me as I go along. “Trust the process,” as my friend, Jashiro would say. I feel like the clouds are clearing out of my mind right now, leaving nothing but bright blue sky in their wake; and I’m taking hold of this new-found clarity and running like a bat out of hell. Try not to choke on the dust I leave behind. Don’t bother me… I’m on my hustle!

Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Will McNair, and this is the Evolution Of A Man!

Tags: career, career goals, determination, entertainment, grind, hard work, hustle, success
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I’m Back, Bitches!

will on October 7th, 2009

Computer fixed. I’m so amped! Got lots of ideas and great new things going. It’s time to get focused, and get serious. Post coming soon.

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You should know…

will on August 28th, 2009

…that my computer’s hard drive is dead and so, until further notice, my entries will be posted from my iPhone. Sad, I know, but I’m trying to be unstoppable, get out of my own way, and get my ish back together.

Tags: bad hard drive, broken computer, iPhone
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Spending time with God – Jeremiah 29:11-14

will on August 28th, 2009

You gotta start somewhere. I’ve been meaning to dive into Bible study for a few weeks now, but have just felt so overwhelmed. Where do I begin? What do I read? How do I internalize it? Will it really help? These are just a few of the questions that I have been battling with when it comes to spending time with You and reading your word. To be honest, I know and believe that You can help me- but at the same time, I don’t feel it. Does that make sense? Really, these days I feel nothing; nothing but self-pity and doubt. I’ve been so consumed by it that I’ve almost given up on myself, and found no desire or reason to start reading. I’ve been so very uninterested…in everything!

After Tuesday’s “Touch & Agree,” Rhonda sat with me for over an hour listening to what I had to say, ministering to me, and reading scriptures with me. She even prayed the prayer of salvation with me- just to make sure I was saved. And I am…but I still struggle! She suggested that I get in the word and start small- take a few verses a day, read them over and over to get them in my spirit, write them down and post them on my walls. I thought it a good idea and, feeling so good after our conversation, had every intention of following her suggestion; but I did nothing. I bailed. Sure, I thought about readng scripture and studying on numerous occassions Wednesday and Thursday; but there was still a big part of me that said, “Why?” and “I don’t wanna!” Also, stuck in my head worrying about all the problems and issues I’m facing, I stayed lazy and sad claiming the excuse, “I don’t know where to start.” So I didn’t. Today I forced myself to start studying the Bible and really spending time with God. As of late, I’ve heard many people either cite or talk about Jeremiah 29:11, so I decided to begin there. It says:

“I know what I am doing. I have planned it all out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”

That was The Message translation. Rhonda suggested reading the New King James Version, the New International Version (NIV), and The Message. I was raised onte traditional King James Version, and like it did when I was younger, it has confused me to no end as I’ve tried reading it recently. But reading the aforementioned translations made Your word so much clearer and understandable to me. I’m definitely a big fan of The Message translation! After reading verse 11 I continued on to verses 12-14, which spoke to me even more:

“When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking fr me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed…”

The NIV says (about getting serious) “When you seen me with all your heart…” I must admit, Lord, that I’m struggling with that part. I can’t yet identify with seeking You with all my heart; but I can say that I am seeking you with all that I can muster up right now- whatever that is. I want to seek You and your word with all my heart, but I’d be wrong not to admit that at this particular moment, I seek You in a reaching, arms wide open, crying attempt to find peace, help, and direction within my storm. My heart is open and I hope and believe that as I continue to read, learn, and in You and be filled by You- as we become more intimate with each other- my heart’s desire for You will expand. I consider myself to have rain my first baby step today towards seeking You and learning your word.

I’ve been asked how can I pray in faith and stand, believing in your word if I don’t know what’s in it? When I pray, I want and need to be able to call upon your word to help me with the circumstances of my life. And even more, I want to truly understand what it means to praise and bless Your name… I want to know you, Lord, so I can better praise you.

I thank You for opening this door and I pray fr your patience with me as I start this journey. I know you’re always with me, Lord- imma need your direction knowing what and how to study next. But for now, I’ll stay meditated on Jeremiah 29:11-14. Thank you!

Lord, teach me how to go beyond just getting by. In Jesus name I pray. AMEN!

Tags: bible study, God, jeremiah, spirituality
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