about 2 years ago, i made a rather larger purchase. thinking i’d be much more productive working out at home, i hit the nets and bought a bowflex ultimate 2 home gym. i’m almost embarrassed to say that after making and spending over a week assembling said purchase, i’ve used that damn machine maybe 40 times… and that could be pushing it. anyway, i’m moving (hopefully in the next week)– yes, the time has come for me to vacate bungalow 425 (i’ll explain later)– and i have to get rid of the bowflex because a) i’m not really using it in the first place so there’s no reason to lug it to a new apartment; b) it prolly won’t fit in any new apartment, and c) i really need the money.

i posted a “bowflex for sale” ad on craigslist last week, and almost immediately got an email from an interested party– who later flaked on me only after i’d begun to take the machine apart. needless to say, i was pretty heated. in closing down shop here at bungalow 425, the piece of furniture that has given me the most “what to do with you” grief has been my bowflex. it’s not easy getting selling a 400 pound machine, but like i said, God is good.

the other day, i got an email from another guy who was interested in my machine. he gave me a bit of the runaround for a couple of days, but tonight, he came through to take a look at the bowflex to see if it was working and in good condition. since posting my ad, several others have gone up on craigslist selling the same machine– some for less, others at a higher price– and all the while my potential buyer and his friend were scoping out my bowflex, i prayed that they would bite and buy. and they did!

y’all should have seen me unscrewing bolts, disconnecting cables, and separating pieces at lightening speed… all the while trying to keep from smiling and jumping for joy. it took me about a half an hour to disconnect the major pieces, and then, with superman strength summoned from Lord knows where, we were able to  get all the parts downstairs and into their mini-van. I. WAS. STOKED! we were a bit worried that all of it wouldn’t fit into their van, but everything came together in the end. i was handed a NICE chunk of change in cash, and they went on their merry way– leaving me skipping up the stairs repeatedly saying “thank you” to the man upstairs.

i was so worried i would be stuck with that machine, y’all don’t even know. God found a way for me to sell it and get rid of it all in the same night; AND he gave me more money than i was originally going to ask for the machine. i am on cloud 9 right now! i seriously couldn’t be any happier, lol. imma say it again… GOD IS SO GOOD!!

i find myself, this first month of the new year, in the midst of the most difficult, frustrating and uncertain time of my life. in the last two weeks alone i’ve wanted to let go and give up on several occasions. i have no career, no money, and no social life; and find myself struggling just to get out of bed in the morning. as i begin to approach my 30th birthday, i don’t really know what i want out of and for my life, but i am holding on as tight as i possibly can to my faith that this rough patch is only temporary, and the best is yet to come.

one beacon of hope- something that i do have to work with right now- is my book, “evolution of a man: a journal of self-discovery.” in the last few days, i have completed the final draft, and am ready to publish and release my work. all i have to do now is come up with $1,500 or so for self-publishing and distribution. finishing this project is a tremendous accomplishment for me-words can’t express how proud and excited i am. laying the foundation for my career begins with this project. this book is the only brick i have to lay in place right now. i may be struggling with financing, but at least i’ve got a product- so i can breathe a little sigh of relief. i know that i want a career as an entertainment and motivational entrepreneur (read: mogul), and this book, in my opinion, gives me a great opportunity to begin such a career; but the question that still hangs over my head (and one that i truly hope to figure out in 2009) is “what do i want to do?”

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career aspirations aside, i’m doing a bit of groundwork in my personal life as well. i am really serious (this year more than ever) about staying healthy and fit, and being social offline and outside of my apartment. in the past couple of weeks, i’ve been working out like crazy in my home wii fit- bowflex equipped gym. the deal i made with myself was to work out for an hour a day, 5 to 6 days a week. 3 days a week i do half an hour of cardio on the wii, followed by a 20-30 minute bowflex workout; and the other 3-4 days i’m strictly wii-fit (aerobics, yoga and strength training). working out hasn’t been nearly as difficult as i thought it would be- especially after meditating in the morning. usually i avoid working out at all costs, but something in me has changed. i still don’t look forward to hittin’ the gym so-to-speak, but now that my spirit is on board, it is now much easier to talk myself into working out than to talk myself out of it.

getting my social life together, however, is going to be more difficult. when it comes to being social (mostly with people whom i’ve never met) i am more of a wallflower than a butterfly. it is my goal to dramatically change that in 2009. i really need to get out, meet new people, try new things, and further open my mind. being a creature of habit, i’m very set in my ways, but i have made a promise to myself to get out of my own way and enjoy all that new york city has to offer. i combed the pages of this week’s time out nyc magazine, and highlighted many events all over the city that sparked my interest. there’s definitely some really cool stuff out there, and i can’t wait to get started. the biggest obstacle for me these days, though, is braving the cold weather of winter. I HATE BEING COLD! but i’ll just have to suck it up, buy some thermal underwear, and call it a day until mother nature brings the heat once again.

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i have no doubt that 2009 will be a great year for me. there’s much to do and much more to look forward to. i’ve lost myself in the last 8 or 9 months, and it’s really important to me that i get my life back. although i’m not entirely sure of where i’m going, or what i’m doing, i know i will find my footing very soon, and begin to lay the foundation for an incredibly bright and successful future. here’s to 2009!

yes i can!