After years of stable and steady corporate employment, I am now looking to build a career for myself as an entertainment entrepreneur. What’s problematic about this new venture is that I don’t have a clear picture of what I really want to do with myself in this industry; and as a result, I’ve had trouble getting started. I know whatever I end up doing, I’ll be building this career from the ground up, without a template to base my ideas on. That frightens me. I believe in my heart that I am destined to do brilliant and amazing things- specifically within and for the gay and African American communities to which I belong- but, unlike the path that has led to my previous successes, there is no blueprint, that I’ve discovered, for building an empire of my own. It’s not that I expect things to be handed to me (I’ve never simply been given anything), but I do wish I had some firm ground to stand on and give me a boost. The subtle ease with which things have manifested for me in the past has admittedly made me a bit spoiled. I thought that I could do the same amount of work, be recognized for it, and subsequently catapulted into career-advancing stardom. I was wrong. “Hustle” and “Grind” are words- verbs, really- that have held very little meaning for me since the urban communities in entertainment, social networking, and on the street adopted them to describe the relentless pursuit of dreams fulfilled. As I ponder their usage and meaning in relation to my own pursuit, I see the hilarity of my thinking that I could build my own career so easily. I’m not putting in half of the work and time that hustlers and grinders the world over are giving to their projects; yet I sit here wondering why things haven’t jumped off for me already. Hard work and determination have been re-defined, and I’m behind the curve now, instead of in front of it. It’s time to get to work.

Though the big picture of my career may still be uncertain, what I do have- that I didn’t recognize or give myself credit for in the past- is this here blog and my trusty little video camera. Turns out I do have a template, I just haven’t been applying it…at least not enough to keep up with the other runners on the track. There is nothing overwhelming about writing a blog post or making a video. Look at what B. Scott has created in a matter of just 2 years. That’s “grindin’” right there for ya. What I need to do is adopt the grind for myself and trust that what I need will be revealed to me as I go along. “Trust the process,” as my friend, Jashiro would say. I feel like the clouds are clearing out of my mind right now, leaving nothing but bright blue sky in their wake; and I’m taking hold of this new-found clarity and running like a bat out of hell. Try not to choke on the dust I leave behind. Don’t bother me… I’m on my hustle!

Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Will McNair, and this is the Evolution Of A Man!

after having a pretty nasty stomach virus thing- that pretty much wiped me out for the better part of a week- i’m back in action as your local media entrepreneur. i must admit though, despite having recovered sometime over the weekend (it’s now wednesday), i still couldn’t get myself to do anything productive. i have an assload of work to do- including finding a job and preparing a plan and marketing materials for my book; but i really haven’t gotten anything done. aside from an interview here and there, i’ve remained almost completely stagnant when it comes to book and career promotion.

i doubt myself too much. i believe in what it is that i’m trying to accomplish, and even further, believe in what i have created thus far; but i still find myself asking, “who wants to listen to me? what do i have to offer?” because of this, the mountain of work on my desk never gets smaller, and the ideas swirling around in my head never get implemented, or even drafted.

i went to see dr. eye candy yesterday, and as usual, he helped me sort through my problem. the frustrations and fears i have about my life and myself right now are totally normal. sure, i may be pushing them to the extreme (as i tend to do everything in my life), but the fact that they exist at all only prove that i’m human. my problem isn’t so much doubting myself as it is my lack of discipline and drive. most people choose to work for someone else because they lack the discipline, determination and motivation it takes to build a business of their own. not everyone can be an entrepreneur. taking an idea and building a company from scratch is an incredibly daunting task that very few people (in comparison to the worlds population) are able or willing to do. so they abandon their dreams, and settle for a life of punching in to mr. boss man’s time clock. i’ve already made the decision to be more than somebody’s employee… i just have to now apply myself!

if i am to be the success and inspiration that i dream to be, then at some point i am going to have to suck it all up- the fear, frustration, and doubt- and get to work. i am the only one who can make this happen- make my dreams come true. i have to force myself to live a work life that is conducive to my ascension and success in media. it’s incredibly hard work, but there is no other option for greatness. only 120% discipline and drive will do. nothing less!