for starters, i’ve finished writing and editing my book. i’ve also created a media kit for it (which will soon be available here on the site). i’ve spent the last few days sending the kit out to my various media contacts in writing, blogging and publishing with the hopes that i’ll a) develop a network of supporters, and b) find publishing, lol.

on sunday, my friend lynda and i hit up the nightmare haunted house in the east village; and continued with mojitos at paladar afterwards. loose-lipped, and needing to talk to someone, i vomited a diatribe ranging in topics from smokestack’s inconsideration to personal apprehensions i have about my future. sometimes in life, we need someone to slap some sense into us. my friend did just that.

lynda wouldn’t even entertain talk of me not believing in myself- stating that i’ve accomplished far too much, and that too many people find me awesome and interesting for me to think such things about myself. in regards to the smokestack situation, she offered that we all have many levels of friends- some you call and see frequently; and others you see on occasion. she suggested the latter for my friendship with him. her advice was to go out and meet people who can give me the same things that i can give them… friendship on a balanced level as opposed to one that eventually ends up being one-sided. i thought out loud about where one should go to meet other intelligent, black, gay men in the city- to which she subtly protested.

“it’s not about meeting ‘gay’ people,” she said. “it’s about meeting people!” that hit me pretty hard. i mean i get so easily caught up in feeling like gay people are the only people i have something in common with. that is entirely untrue. i’ve had friends of all backgrounds before, but i suppose i’ve spent so much time concentrating on my sexuality, that i’ve enclosed myself in a bubble. it’s time for that bubble to burst. lynda mentioned that i check out meetup.com- a social networking site geared towards joining people with similar interests.

i’ve heard of meetup before- i used to write ads for them when i worked at google- but i never really checked it out. meetup is the shit, y’all. i just entered things that i’m interested in- “bowling,” “music,” “writing,” etc. and all types of groups just popped up on screen. i read through and joined a few of them. i have no doubt that this will change everything!

for example, i had a meetup meeting today about the law of attraction as it relates to relationships! talk about attracting things to you! only 2 days ago, i vented my frustrations about my relationships with people, and the universe answered me right back. i got so much out of the meeting just from hearing people talk. there were a couple of things that really stood out for me. someone during the hour-long conversation mentioned: “don’t project your negative mirror onto other people.” bringing it home… “don’t blame smokestack for his inconsideration, when you’re consideration track record is less than laudable.” this doesn’t excuse his behavior in any way, but it highlights my behavior in other relationships that is now being mirrored in my friendship with smokestack.

the other thing that stood out for me today was when someone else said, “change your mind about giving people what you think they need!” could that possibly apply more to my relationship not only with smokestack, but with people in general? i’m a very giving person… a “yes-man” if you will. i’m always there to give people what i think they may need or want, so that they may be happy- all the while sacrificing my own happiness. hearing that woke me up. i’m definitely thinking clearer now; and am now more aware of my own behavior.

needless to say, i enjoyed my first meetup experience. i also found a black writers group, and was very excited to see that they are having a meetup this thursday at the 40/40 club (to which i’ve never been). i’m incredibly excited about this one! this is my chance to really get my foot in the door in the writing and publishing world. i got a book that needs peddling, and what better way to get exposure than this? so, i’m ordering more business cards, printing out “evolution of a man” media kits, and taking this show on the road.

thanx, lynda for busting me out of my bubble.

here we go kiddies!