in the beginning of last week, i was really going thru it. i could barely get myself out of bed, and when i did, i moped around like a sad little puppy dog– locked in a state of depression and grief over what I felt was an uninspired life. on top of that, i was frustrated with trying to get my cable and internet service hooked up. cablevision came to my apartment 3 days in a row during the week, and in the end, still couldn’t get my cable installed. it was not shaping up to be a good week.

on wednesday i got a call from my girl, shondell, who has been such a tremendous force of positivity and inspiration for me during these tough times. i shared with her what i had been going through during the week, and she told me a story about a struggle she had, and a lesson she learned in letting go and letting God. she helped me to realize that we, as individuals, really have everything we need in life to be well and succeed; we just need to relax, trust in God, and know–truly know– that in the end, everything will be okay. hearing her testimony really brightened my spirits.

later that same day, shondell texted me telling me to “tune into oprah, RIGHT NOW!” the show was a re-run of a best life week episode on “spirituality 101.” i’d seen the episode before, but the refresher couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. in it, oprah made mention of a gratitude journal that she keeps and writes in on almost a daily basis. as soon as i heard that, my mind started to race and i thought of journaling what i’m grateful for… keeping the good things that are working in my life fresh and present in my thinking. since seeing that episode, i’ve started to write down 5 things from each day that i’m grateful for, as well as writing prayer notes to God. since starting this new thing, i feel so alive and in such great spirits, i can barely contain myself!

in addition to all of that, randomly, on thursday, i picked up my book manuscript and started re-writing “evolution of a man: a journal of self-discovery.” the stuff that was coming out of me was so amazing that i almost couldn’t stop writing. i’ve been locked in ever since! i feel so on fire right now! like i have purpose again. it’s so awesome how quickly things can go from darkness to light. this book is seriously going to be a brilliant and amazing piece of work. i can’t wait for you all to read it! the goal is to have it all re-written by the end of the month… middle of july at the latest, and then re-start the publishing process shortly thereafter.

i feel like my life is back on track right now, and i couldn’t be more excited! thank God for friends like shondell, and for what being grateful and trusting in Him can bring about in our own lives. i’m so freakin’ stoked right now! lol let’s go, people! upward and onward!

i find myself, this first month of the new year, in the midst of the most difficult, frustrating and uncertain time of my life. in the last two weeks alone i’ve wanted to let go and give up on several occasions. i have no career, no money, and no social life; and find myself struggling just to get out of bed in the morning. as i begin to approach my 30th birthday, i don’t really know what i want out of and for my life, but i am holding on as tight as i possibly can to my faith that this rough patch is only temporary, and the best is yet to come.

one beacon of hope- something that i do have to work with right now- is my book, “evolution of a man: a journal of self-discovery.” in the last few days, i have completed the final draft, and am ready to publish and release my work. all i have to do now is come up with $1,500 or so for self-publishing and distribution. finishing this project is a tremendous accomplishment for me-words can’t express how proud and excited i am. laying the foundation for my career begins with this project. this book is the only brick i have to lay in place right now. i may be struggling with financing, but at least i’ve got a product- so i can breathe a little sigh of relief. i know that i want a career as an entertainment and motivational entrepreneur (read: mogul), and this book, in my opinion, gives me a great opportunity to begin such a career; but the question that still hangs over my head (and one that i truly hope to figure out in 2009) is “what do i want to do?”

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career aspirations aside, i’m doing a bit of groundwork in my personal life as well. i am really serious (this year more than ever) about staying healthy and fit, and being social offline and outside of my apartment. in the past couple of weeks, i’ve been working out like crazy in my home wii fit- bowflex equipped gym. the deal i made with myself was to work out for an hour a day, 5 to 6 days a week. 3 days a week i do half an hour of cardio on the wii, followed by a 20-30 minute bowflex workout; and the other 3-4 days i’m strictly wii-fit (aerobics, yoga and strength training). working out hasn’t been nearly as difficult as i thought it would be- especially after meditating in the morning. usually i avoid working out at all costs, but something in me has changed. i still don’t look forward to hittin’ the gym so-to-speak, but now that my spirit is on board, it is now much easier to talk myself into working out than to talk myself out of it.

getting my social life together, however, is going to be more difficult. when it comes to being social (mostly with people whom i’ve never met) i am more of a wallflower than a butterfly. it is my goal to dramatically change that in 2009. i really need to get out, meet new people, try new things, and further open my mind. being a creature of habit, i’m very set in my ways, but i have made a promise to myself to get out of my own way and enjoy all that new york city has to offer. i combed the pages of this week’s time out nyc magazine, and highlighted many events all over the city that sparked my interest. there’s definitely some really cool stuff out there, and i can’t wait to get started. the biggest obstacle for me these days, though, is braving the cold weather of winter. I HATE BEING COLD! but i’ll just have to suck it up, buy some thermal underwear, and call it a day until mother nature brings the heat once again.

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i have no doubt that 2009 will be a great year for me. there’s much to do and much more to look forward to. i’ve lost myself in the last 8 or 9 months, and it’s really important to me that i get my life back. although i’m not entirely sure of where i’m going, or what i’m doing, i know i will find my footing very soon, and begin to lay the foundation for an incredibly bright and successful future. here’s to 2009!

yes i can!

the following is the introduction to the sweet potato vlog i wanted to post today:

as you can see, i’m having some light issues in my kitchen space. you can’t even believe how disappointed i was, after 30 minutes of taping, when i uploaded the video and viewed the dark and unusable footage. damn! well, at least i’ll know for next time… definitely need more light!

most likely the “cooking with will” vlog will be a stream of random meals that i will be having for dinner. i just wanted to add a bit more spice to evolution of a man. cooking is one of my favorite pastimes, and so, as oprah challenged us all to do, i’m passing it on. in my own little way, of course… but i’m sharing the love nonetheless. enjoy!

oh, and the pies came out looking very tasty and delicious… and they were!

“i loved how she used ‘generating blood flow’ as a euphemism for having an orgasm”

the word that stuck out to me was “euphamism.” i always loved that word, but never knew what it meant. so, i looked it up.

A euphemism is the substitution of an agreeable or less offensive expression in place of one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant…

got it! thanx random new york home-audience lady. i love keeping the evolution & growth goin’!

look ma’- i learned a new word!